Friday, September 26, 2008

Is There A Councilmember or Community Member Who Can Help Pull Zuma Dogg Out Of Chambers And Back Into Life?

I think after two and a half years, people pretty much know what I am about and the passion, enthusiasm and energy I bring to the table.

And everyone who knows me, knows I have been trying to pull out of the day-to-day activism duties of attending every council meeting and blogging round the clock in between all the phone calls and emails. But I really can't jump off the treadmill. And it looks all fine and dandy when you see ZD on the TV or hear him on the radio or read a blog post...but the sausage factory needs to be shut down for unsafe operating conditions.

Is there a Councilmember out there who can help put me in touch with the right contacts/connections to help get something off the ground, so I can get out of chambers and back to real life???

Call Central Casting, tell 'em to book me as a stand-in. (ZD was SAG stand-in, before City Hall activism. Aks Peter Krause of "Dirty, Sexy, Money" and Six Feet Under. I saw him filming D,S,M in City Hall rotunda, last month. He knows "Zuma Dogg" from before I even bought my first knit ski cap.

I bumped into a guy last night, who knows a bunch of people in City Hall and actually had some of the CM's numbers in his cell phone. AND, he's a big time Hollywood producer. CALL THE GUY!!! TELL HIM TO GET ME SOME WORK FROM STAND IN TO STAR OF THE SHOW.

THAT WAY, YOU'LL GET ME OUT OF THE DAY TO DAY GRIND OF DAILY COUNCIL MEETINGS!!! (Hey folks, I know you want the free party to go on forever, but it's over. It has to be. This is madness. It's interfering with all aspects of my life. And my body cannot carry on in this state. So don't say, "Well gee ZD, if you are doing something else like that, then you are selling out, throwing in the towel, and that's what the CMs want." Really? Unless you are paying me $50 a day...go screw yourself. If I never attended another meeting, or blogged another post...I did enough, for now.

I know there is an idea I have for one, or more, non-profits in the City. Maybe a CM can put me in touch with one of them and have me help them with a project. Or have one of the CM offices just do the project themselves for their district. (I know some of them would even like to do it...they just get too tied up and never follow up.)

MAKE ZUMA DOGG THE OFFICIAL DJ FOR YOUR HOLIDAY PARTIES! (I was working as a wedding DJ in Las Vegas at places like Mandalay Bay, Bally's and country clubs...IMMEDIATELY BEFORE IS STARTED SHOWING UP AT CITY HALL. I came back to LA for winter holidays, started vending on Venice...liked it, and stayed...then a couple months later...42.15 and ZD became more of a regular at the Council meetings than some of the Councilmembers.)

So I got the skillz, y'all. I used to hire, train and operate a market research staff for the biggest radio station in America (Z-100), then was Director of Charts for Billboard Magazine (and I oversaw 5 weekly trade publications.) Record companies and General Managers used to sneak me money out of their own pocket to consult them, cause they couldn't get me on as a "contracted consultant."

ASK YOUR BOY, ROY, AT CBS RADIO ABOUT ZD. Or ask Dawn, new Sales Bigshot at LA Times about ZD. (OR, just ask them who the most innovative, amazing, bat-out-of-hell creative and strategic force they have ever met is. And if they don't say "Zuma Dogg" remind them that is my name now!

I know on one hand you can say, "Well gee, how pathetic is this guy. How come he can't do more for himself? Why doesn't he just go out and get a job, then? Don't worry about that. I say ZD is fine when I eat once a day and when I sleep on a bed once every six months. I suffer from an illness called, "Aladdin's Lamp Syndrome."

I need someone to pull me up out of here and make a call to someone and put me in touch with them. MAYOR VILLARAIGOSA SHOULD BE PICKING UP THE PHONE AND MAKING SOME CALLS FASTER THAN ANYONE!

Help me to be able to help you by helping me.

AND IF THERE ARE ANY COMMUNITY MEMBERS/ENTREPRENEURS THAT WANT TO MOVE AHEAD WITH A PROJECT...I AM ALL FOR PRIVATIZATION!

DON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO HANG IN THERE TO CONTNUE IN MY CURRENT CAPACITY.

ANYONE WHO DOES THAT IS A REAL ENABLER AND YOU DON'T WANT TO FEEL RESPONSIBILITY FOR BEING THE ONE WHO DRIVES ME INTO COUNCIL CHAMBERS FOR "ONE MORE MEETING".

AND don't make the biggest possible mistake you could possibly make by asking me how I am doing, just because I am putting on a good front at the time. THIS IS HOW I ALWAYS AM DOING!!! I get all happy and in a good mood because someone just gave me $20.

IF YOU ONLY HAD $20, YOU WOULD HAVE JUMPED A LONG TIME AGO!!! IMAGINE IF YOU HAD ONLY $20????? FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

That's me at my best, when I'm all in a good mood and happy and carrying on!!!

So don't ask me how I am doing. Just start doing. I'm not saying you have to do anything...but don't make what you do, be asking me how I am doing cause you want some warm and fuzzy, "everything's great." I literally have been running on the public spirit of the community on the streets of Los Angeles...but that's kinda like operating a hybrid automobile...and I've driven way too long without recharging the battery.

AND I ALREADY KNOW...THE PEOPLE WHO COULD BE DOING THIS ARE ABOUT TO MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE, THEN ASK ME HOW I AM DOING NEXT TIME THEY SEE ME.

I can tell already, I won't be going to the news studio today. You can't just snap out of this type of physical rundown. (I can't believe I slept 5 1/2 hours last night! Oh, you think I'm complaining? NO, that's a record for the past six months.)

ALL OF THIS IS BASED ON THE FACT THAT MY CELL PHONE CHARGER DIED YESTERDAY, AND NOW I DO NOT HAVE A CELL PHONE AND AM REALLY STRANDED AND I AM GOING TO MISS A DEADLINE I NEEDED TO HIT AND I'M IN BIG FUCKING TROUBLE NOW!

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