You would never know the city is facing any type of crisis whatsoever, if you attended the L.A. City Council meeting, today.
Ya know...we all know how annoying "Presentation and Proclamation" Fridays are at the City Council meeting ("Dog and Pony Show" Friday).
The meeting starts at 10am...BUT FIRST, it's HOURS of presentations as they hand out fancy framed proclamations to people and let them go on and on and on and tell their lifetime story on their struggle and how much good they have done and then all the other council members hit their button and stand up and pile on a bunch of ass-kissing, time-wasting accolades...and then, many times they will end up losing a quorum before they finish business and get through the agenda.
BUT I MUST SAY...TODAY SEEMED ESPECIALLY BIZARRE AND SURREAL AS THEY CARRIED ON WITH ALL THE "HAPPY, HAPPY...JOY-JOY" --
WHILE THEY ARE FACING BANKRUPTCY WITH SOME BIG DECISIONS TO BE MADE REGARDING PENSION MONEY, THE BUDGET, FIRINGS, FIRE COMPANY BROWNOUTS, LOSS OF SERVICES AND OUR ALL DOOMSDAY SCENARIO FACING THE PEOPLE OF THE CITY.
SO I HAVE A SUGGESTION ON HOW TO SPEED THINGS UP SINCE NOW DENNIS ZINE HAS MOVED PUBLIC COMMENT TO THE END OF THE MEETING AND IS SO WORRIED ABOUT TIME:
BUTTON TO SPEAK AFTER THESE PRESENTATIONS!
In other words...GIVE THE DAMN PRESENTATION AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONE.
WHAT IS REALLY SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF THE MEETINGS ON FRIDAY is when these grandstanding Councilmembers (CMs) have to hit their button, and stand up, and pile on more ass-kissing comments, just to try and out do the previous CM.
SO LET THE CM PRESENT THE AWARD, MAKE SOME NICE COMMENTS ON THE OTHER CMs' BEHALF (ON BEHALF OF THE CITY)...
AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONE. DO NOT ADD ANOTHER 20 MINUTES, OR MORE PILING ON ADDITIONAL COMMENTS.
My good friend Jose Huizar hit the button to pile on additional ass-kissing...and when he crossed the rope into ZD territory, to speak with someone in a nice suit, I hammered him, with cranky ZD..."Jose!!!! DON'T HIT THE BUTTON, DAMN IT! WHY ARE YOU DRAGGING IT OUT. LET THE CMs GIVE THE AWARD AND MOVE ON. DON'T HIT THE BUTTON!"
Huizar played along nicely (tongue in cheek and SO dry) and simply said, "O.K., I won't." (As though that was enough to end it and he didn't want to get in trouble.)
I asked CM Parks if he could ask these knuckleheads to cut it out and stop hitting the button to speak. He enjoys those jabs from ZD he knows are directed to the others as he shrugs his shoulders in equal frustration.
Anyway...between Zine botching the meeting and THIS issue, I pretty much got an idea of what ZD would be like as Councilmember: I'd be running around to the CMs, trying to pursuade them to quit hitting the button. AND, if not...I would eventually hit MY buzzer and say, "CAN WE PLEASE MOVE ON TO THE NEXT PRESENTATION/COMMISSION APPOINTMENT?"
(Which would be MY way of "calling for the question" on things you can't do that with/PUBLIC PRESSURE.)
I MEAN, HOW DOES HERB WESSON END UP GIVING A BIG SPEECH TALKING ABOUT THE ORIGIN OF HIS REAL NAME, AND WHEN HE WAS AT ASSEMBLY...WHEN A FIRE CHIEF WAS BEING APPOINTED.
BECAUSE SAME THING WITH THESE APPOINTMENTS. WHY DO ALL 15 CMs HAVE TO SPEAK.
CUT IT OUT.
YOU CLOWNS AREN'T FOOLING ANYONE.
Zuma Dogg for City Council -- TUESDAY, SEPT. 22nd.