HERE'S SOMETHING FUN TO READ FROM A READER. Take it with a grain of salt, but it's interesting. Maybe I should say, "Opinion/Editorial" so you people who think this blog needs to maintain NEW YORK TIMES standards can relax and enjoy this:
HERE'S ANOTHER EMAIL FROM LAST NIGHT:
L.A. city hall insiders managed to take care of the most important item of business to close out the new's cycle before Tuesday's election for the open seat in CD 2.
The item at hand was to insure that CD 2 candidate Zuma Dogg does not get enough votes to make the run-off.
All of the insiders agreed that if ZD makes it through to the CD 2 run-off it would be like lettin' a cat out of the bag.
One that would be hell-a-hard if not impossible to put back. Secret insider polling revealed the existence of a snarling, angry and quite large "Dogg Nation" just barely asleep.
Insider research describes the "sleeping Dogg's" as disenchanted with the current political scene and non-participatory.
But these "Dogg's" are also highly literate, educated and know their rights. They are fed-up being stepped on. If woken up suddenly or threatened, they will attack. Viciously and relentlessly.
Of utmost importance is to let them sleep until after this Tuesday's CD 2 polls have closed.
So all of the insiders painted their faces with their best phony smiles and freely gave of their best college handshakes and pats on the back.
Although the insiders often find themselves on oppossite sides of an issue, there is one thing they all agree upon.
The importance of keeping ZD from getting an "ALL ACCESS" pass into the Big Dogg House.
Said one worried insider, who was not authorized to speak and requested anonymity,
" What everyone here knows, but no one will dare to admit is that if Zuma Dogg gets on the council - the Gravy Train is coming right off the tracks."
I mean like folks could probably not even imagine. You would have to go back to the first part
f the 20th Century to even come close - Tammany Hall, Teapot Dome, and Chicago during the time of Al Capone."
"Why its been said that the doo-doo has been piling up at City Hall for so long that its reached the 22nd floor."
"I know this sounds improbable but found myself standing next to one of the oldest insiders while draining the lizard in the council lav. He said the doo-doo has actually reached the ob deck and is quickly filling up. By December it will be oozing out and down the sides of City Hall for all to see."
"They are circulating a list of dead people to point the finger of blame at, names like Yorty and Bradley. If we get really lucky, he said, Dick Riordan could do us all a favor and croak in the next few weeks.
Then there would be somebody at least half-way credible and dead to blame for the sh*tstain flowing down 1st Street."
"But if ZD gets on the council, he will probably blow the whole charade. And that is unthinkable."
"It is imperative that we get a deal on the budget and the retirements done today. With smiles and handshakes all around for the photo."
"It doesn't matter if it all comes flying apart in a minute, as long as everyone is singing Why Can't We Be Friends until 8:00 pm this Tuesday."
"Because this whole budget mess and early retirement buyout fiasco has folks pissed. Research has identified them as " Zuma Dogg Nation".
" We already stepped on their tails and woke 'em up too much for safety already. They are finally back down and snoring"
"Everything has to stay all nice and peaceful through Tuesday.
Because if they wake up and go to vote in CD 2 and Zuma Dogg goes through to the run-off, we would have to bring in Colonel Ollie North to run the shredding operation. and his fee is outrageous!
We would have to run the shredders 24/7 until Thanksgiving and put the Dept. of Sanitation on extra shift to keep the ventilation system from getting clogged with all of the shreds."
"Riots, earthquakes, sinkholes, ---- we can deal with those. But if an outsider the likes of Zuma Dogg gets on the inside, and he demands to see the books. SHHHH*****TTT!!
Around here, that's known as the doomsday scenario."
"So everyone inside gets an A+ today for stepping gently around the sleeping Dogg's."
"Cause if that Zuma Dogg Nation get woked up, it ain't gone be like no Huckleberry Hound.
They gone bite like a M*th*F**K*N SON OF A B*T*H!!"
[WOW! That was SOME take. I LOVE IT!]
Vote for Zuma Dogg, Mary Benson or Tamar Galatzan for City Council. (That's who you are choosing between, right?]