JAN PERRY, GOOD LUCK on Google Search Engines When You Run For Mayor: HERE'S A FREE SAMPLE! (WHY JAN PERRY SHOULD NOT EVER BE MAYOR OF LOS ANGELES!)

[Out late partying, Jan? Or did you walk into an MTA bus before the early morning council meeting?]

1. JAN PERRY: Why did a bail bondsman who reads my blog leave a message saying they want to talk to me? Have to call them back. My cell is out. 2 minutes ago from HootSuite
2. DO NOT CUT STAFF FROM JAN PERRY'S OFFICE: She will need them to reply to Zuma Dogg's PUBLIC RECORDS REQUESTS in legal time frame. 4 minutes ago from HootSuite
3. JAN PERRY: Hope your office isn't too busy. I have questions that require documents from your office. Get ready for Public Records Requests! 5 minutes ago from HootSuite
4. JAN PERRY: How many times has Zuma Dogg warned you, DO NOT GET INTO PERSONAL PISSING MATCH WITH CRAZY PERSON WITH NOTHING TO LOSE! YOU LOSE! 12 minutes ago from HootSuite
5. JAN PERRY CAN NO LONGER HOLD PRESS EVENTS ON CITY HALL STEPS: Unless she wants ZUMADOGG to shout her down entire time. FREE SPEECH OUTSIDE! 15 minutes ago from HootSuite
6. JAN PERRY: Better not have any PUBLIC PRESS EVENTS at PUBLIC PLACES. Zuma Dogg can SHOUT YOU DOWN ALL DAY LONG! No sound bite for you! BOO! 19 minutes ago from HootSuite
7. 2010 PREDICTION: L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa will be forced to step down as mayor in agreement with Attny General over PensionGate. 24 minutes ago from HootSuite
8. ANTONIO VILLARAIGOSA'S WEENIE is in a Chinese finger trap. It's all closing in on you, Chumptonio, from ALL ANGLES. State, Federal & local! 28 minutes ago from HootSuite
9. SEIU gonna stick it to Villaragiosa the way he sticks it to LU PARKER! But they'll stick it to him for longer than a minute. Wear a condom! 29 minutes ago from HootSuite
10. VILLARAIGOSA ASKING CITY WORKERS TO TAKE 15% PAY CUT: City workers asking Villaraigosa to cut wine consumption by 15%. HE REALLY IS DRUNK! 32 minutes ago from HootSuite
11. Villaragiosa on "All My Chldren": Do you think they let him wear his elevator shoes, or take them off to be same height as petite Erika? 34 minutes ago from HootSuite
12. ANTONIO VILLARAGIOSA: Find the GIANT within! Shouldn't feel the need to wear elevator shoes to feel good. You have Lu Parker, yoga & wine. 37 minutes ago from HootSuite
13. ANTONIO VILLARAIGOSA: You may wonder why I am poking fun at you for wearing elevator shoes, this weekend. Ask your gal Jan Perry! BIG MOUTH! 39 minutes ago from HootSuite
14. Last time I saw Antonio Villaragiosa, I thought I had osteoporosis and was shrinking. He was just wearing elevator shoes. (Whew!) 40 minutes ago from HootSuite
15. HEY ANTONIO VILLARAIOGSA: When you are run out of town and hopping on plane out of here, remember to take elevator shoes off at check point. 41 minutes ago from HootSuite
16. JAN PERRY has MUCH BIGGER problems than ZUMA DOGG...City Unions HATE HER ASS...Are going to pay her back. Watch her district's trash! LOL! about 1 hour ago from HootSuite
17. WENDY GREUEL better warn Tommy he can't watch: When FEDERAL JUDGE rules on code of conduct, "kids watching" argument won't mean SHIT to ZD! about 1 hour ago from HootSuite
18. FEDERAL ORDER COMING FROM JUDGE on Matt Dowd's "Code of Conduct" injunction filed against City Hall. Council betting BIG on LOSING hand! about 1 hour ago from HootSuite
19. JAN PERRY is going to find out how FRUSTRATING it is to see ZD blog posts about her topping Google search engines when she runs for mayor. about 1 hour ago from HootSuite
20. TO REPEAT, part of Zuma Dogg's FEDERAL lawsuit settlement with L.A. City will REQUIRE JAN PERRY may no longer preside over meetings! Sorry. about 1 hour ago from HootSuite
21. Part of Zuma Dogg's settlement with City will demand Jan Perry may not longer preside over meetings. Will force her down as Pro Tem. Sorry. about 1 hours ago from HootSuite
22. HOW MUCH YOU WANNA BET Jan Perry will NEVER preside over Zuma Dogg's public comment again. Will have to work around it. Sorry Jan, REVOKED! about 1 hours ago from HootSuite
23. JAN PERRY: You can't wear floppy hats to cast shadows over bags under your eyes, EVERY DAY. Try Prep H under eye lids! And stay off crack! about 1 hours ago from HootSuite
24. L.A. City Council's JAN PERRY: You can't wear hats EVERYDAY. For all your money, can't you buy some ROGAINE? They make it for women, too! about 1 hours ago from HootSuite
25. JAN PERRY FOR MAYOR?: Not anymore. Zuma Dogg knows how to FUCK YOU UP GOOD in Google Search engines. STARTING NOW FOR NEXT ELECTION! about 1 hours ago from HootSuite
26. @EricGarcetti U don't want judge to rule on code of conduct. Once INJUNCTED, ANYTHING GOES IN CHAMBERS. If you settle, judge doesn't rule! about 2 hours ago from HootSuite
27. "JAN PERRY sold us out to the mayor. She doesn't represent us." - African American LA. Workers to ZD on Jan Perry's call for 4000 layoffs. about 3 hours ago from HootSuite
28. JAN PERRY should run for Mayor of Mayberry, RFD. They always seem to elect a white mayor, so Jan is a shoe-in! about 3 hours ago from HootSuite
29. ZD and JAN PERRY had a deal. She doesn't FUCK with my mic during comment, and I don't FUCK with her downtown kickback money. SHE BROKE DEAL! about 3 hours ago from HootSuite
30. Wow, does L.A. City Councilman Grieg "Environmental Kickbacks" Smith end up looking like the BIGGEST IDIOT as ZD looks back on budget mess. about 4 hours ago from HootSuite
31. Zuma Dogg called for "Special Event Fee Waivers" to be FIRST FUCKING THING TO GET CUT. AND, they WERE the first fucking thing to be cut. about 4 hours ago from HootSuite
32. IF YOU DON'T THINK @ZumaDogg discovered & uncovered BIGGEST STORY IN CITY HISTORY, ask mayor why we are in trouble. PENSION LOSS ON WALL ST! about 4 hours ago from HootSuite
33. 2006: ZD discovers PENSION $ invested in Grand Ave Project. 2007: Discovers pension $ in risky Wall St. 2008: Warns BILLIONS will be lost. about 4 hours ago from HootSuite
34. IF YOU DON'T THINK Zuma Dogg DISCOVERED & UNCOVERED the LACERS pension SCANDAL to L.A., when was first time you heard of "Wetherly Capital?" about 4 hours ago from HootSuite
35. @ZumaDogg just spent past 3 yrs uncovering and EXPOSING budget & pension crisis to ALL. I WAS RIGHT! Can you please support with PayPal now? about 4 hours ago from HootSuite
36. I know the day comes when Michael Jordan can't dunk competitively, or Bruce Jenner can't break records, but for now, ZD 100% ON THE MONEY! about 4 hours ago from HootSuite
37. If you want to know what will be happening next in the City of Los Angeles, why don't you just ask me. I always seem to be 100% on target. about 4 hours ago from HootSuite
38. ZUMA DOGG, always ahead of curve: Remember a few months ago when I said, "eliminating entire departments would be the first thing." WELL? about 4 hours ago from HootSuite
39. WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SO RIGHT & AHEAD OF THE CURVE?: Huh...huh, remember when ZD said eliminating entire depts would be budget answer? about 4 hours ago from HootSuite
40. ZUMA DOGG, always ahead of the curve: Remember a few months ago when I was saying the city will be forced to eliminate entire departments? about 4 hours ago from HootSuite