Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Zuma Dogg on Los Angeles Top 40 & Talk Radio Peronalities (There AREN'T many REAL Ones!)

[Pictured: The man behind the icon.]

When I was hired at Z-100, the former #1 station was #11. I took over research dept., shifted "out of touch" music direction & was put in charge of approving EVERY MUSIC SEGUE, 24 hours a day. When I was shoved out door, station was #2 (#1 was non-English). Station sunk upon my exit. PD told corporate, "A big part of our success was Dave Elliott."

Obviously, a radio programming genius, when it comes to music formats, I had to show radio biz how to put REAL PERSONALITY into radio. Has YOUR DJ been on ABC Nightline, LA Times, Daily News, LA Weekly, every local talk radio station, Good Day L.A., Fox 11, KABC, KNBC, KCBS, KTLA, KCAL News? [Yet local radio programmers (or ANY pro media outlet) simply allows all that "top of mind" approval go un-tapped, as they struggle to distinguish themselves in a crowded, over-saturated market. I SEEMED TO HAVE DONE IT...without a signal of my own. (Does that make you a loser? I think it does.)

‎"Hero, icon, legend, genius, prophet..." just SOME of the terms used to describe ZUMA local Los Angeles media.

[RADIO EXECUTIVES: Unless your DJ's/radio hosts are getting unsolicited coverage and feedback like this, you have a problem and you are not doing the job you are being paid for. Especially compared to the job I just did without being paid or having any gig on a local medium. TOTAL TOP OF MIND RECOGNITION AND BUZZ...just for waking up and living my un-employed, out-of-work day.]

"The future of television comedy. Zuma Dogg is the only American comedian today wearing the comedy-genius mantle once borne by Lenny Bruce, Allen Funt and Andy Kaufman." - Michael Heaton/Syndicated Pop-Culture Columnist


I was not at all prepared for the brilliance of your show. In all honesty I was absolutely blown away. It was the most fresh, funniest, innovative thing that I've seen on television in the past five years.

You're a genius! When can we catch more shows? Do you have any of your old shows available?

honestly, you may have been the funniest person i've ever seen. I was laughing so hard I woke up my girlfriend.

If i owned a big TV company your show would be on 24/7!! I have never laughed so hard for so long, it's awesome. Can't wait for the next one, me and my friends will be talkin about it for a week! lol...

How can I get a copy of tonight's episode? It was the funniest thing I've seen in years. Thank you.

I hope you know you have the best show in the history of the planet!

I was wondering if I could maybe get your Autograph...It would mean alot...I know a ton of kids at my skool that love
your show too....They are always talking in your voice and going crazy.....

you have the best show ever, you are the best white rapper in the world!!! It was so beautiful that I had tears in my eyes. Let's just say I was moved.

I think your show displays a VERY intelligent and socially conscience realistic view of the world and you do it in a very original and very artistic way.

i love your show. it is the most excellent thing in all of televisionland.

My name is Lauren and let me begin by saying you are one of the finest displays of unconventional genius I've seen in a long time.

We just wanted to write to let you know how spectacular we thought your show was. i was just wondering, if there's anyway i can buy your shows on video or something.

my boyfriend and i just stumbled upon you singing saturday night fever tunes - and we can't stop laughing - thanks...

I caught your last episode. Let me tell you that it was a Classic. The part about Elton John had me laughing all night.
Do you sell your music or dvds of your show? If not, you should. Your latest song is good as hell.

saw your show the other night and let me say,it was some of the funniest shit i've seen on tv in a long time,keep up the good work.

My girlfriend and i caught your show for the first time 3 weeks ago. I recorded it and show it around to friends. It is so g-damn funny. I keep waiting to see you somewhere.

Just to let you know, I dig what you do, you are a funny and talented person. It took me a couple shows to get it but now I got it so keep it up, look forward to the new shows.

[MEDIA EXECUTIVES: IMAGINE IF I WAS ON YOUR STATION, EVERYDAY? Will NEVER happen, cause you are stuck in an un-innovative, choking on your same old Alan Burns recycled air...and are too out of touch to "get it." I've heard it all before. I'll just keep getting more famous, without even wanting to or trying.]
HERE'S TODAY'S ADDITION TO MY EVER-GROWING PROFILE IN THIS REGION: ZD quoted in today's LA Weekly. (Notice I'm the only name in the "keyword?" At least LA Weekly knows how to boost audience.)

When Adam Sandler told me to call his office, his receptionist said, "I don't know WHO you are, but I have NEVER heard Adam speak about anyone like that, before. I've NEVER heard him laugh so hard." Adam's production guy said, "I heard so much noise through the wall, I ran in to see what it was (thought it was an emergency). It was Adam rolling on the floor, howling at your video." (Sandler stiffed me.)

When I FIRST moved to L.A. in '94, I contacted the floundering 97.1 KLSX GM Tim L. Presented a memo detailing the niche/demand for an ALL-TALK FM station, to go along with Howard Stern. Tim sent me a letter, thanking me. The rest is history, as the station is STILL "FM TALK" to this day. [Glad I could help. Anyone got a sandwich? Maybe Tom Leykis can buy me one?]

Remember KIIS-FM GM Roy Laughlin? (I DO think he's the single, greatest, most-talented, overall radio executive I've ever known/worked with.) BUT, when KIIS was in BIG trouble (which meant his job was in trouble) he called ZD (we worked together in Houston) to invite me to dinner to discuss station. After he explained the problem, I fired back with some positioning slogans, along with a new music focus they needed to shift to. Never heard back, but while walking down street, saw a bus drive by with a bus ad using my EXACT wording. THEN, I saw HUGE BILLBOARDS all across the city. AND, they made the music shift (based on actual sample hours I provided to the GM.) STATION SHOT TO #1. [ZD never got anything but promises...]

In '89, I sent a memo to my executive idol, Bob Pittman (co-creator of MTV), who was President of Time Warner Enterprises, at the time. I sent him a memo, detailing the concept for a narrowly-focused cable channel, like MTV, but for the Entertainment industry. Gave specific ideas like, "re-playing Jerry Springer/talk show clips from the day, people at work miss." Pittman created E! for Time-Warner, based on that memo. He DID have me into his office, years later to chat. (BIG DEAL. That was the payment?) That was always a tough one to get over.

YOU CAN SAY I'M A MORON FOR SENDING THESE PEOPLE MY IDEAS...BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT THEY WOULD HIRE ME TO DO THE JOB!!! (But I find they just take the memo, scratch my name off, and write theirs over it. So that's why I created "Zuma Dogg." NO ONE IN THE WORLD is capable of TOUCHING me as a performer. Can't steal that. Even though others have tried. Hi, Courteney C. and Jamie K.!)

HERE'S HOW DUMB RADIO EXECUTIVES ARE: I was asked to fly into a radio company for a big gig (job interview) that was practically a "gimme" cause the PD wanted to hire me. But the GM called me, to CANCEL THE INTERVIEW. I had a quote from Quality Management consultant Dr. Ed Deming, who praised my work. She said, "I KNOW about Dr. Deming, and he would NEVER send a letter saying that." (WOW...too good to be true? EXCEPT IT WAS, ASSH*LE!!! So I didn't get the gig...and they lost out on what they thought was too good to be true. LOSERS!

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