IS THIS, OR IS THIS NOT THE DUMBEST THING EVER?: L.A. Officials complain they lose business to surrounding areas. IT MIGHT HELP IF YOU START BY USING SANDBAGS FROM YOU OWN L.A. COUNTY, INSTEAD OF BUYING THEM FROM ORANGE COUNTY! THE CITY OF L.A. HAS IT'S OWN FLIPPIN' BEACH!!! (And it is two blocks away from this location.)
ARE YOU DUMB, or just stupid?:
SHORT POST, so inserting this email reply I just sent to a couple (new?) compassionate supporters of Zuma Dogg, who see I'm in a bad rut, and start in with all the usual, "have you thought about offering paid blog subscriptions, T-shirts. get a TV show, you'd be good for radio," stuff. (Yes, I HAVE...and that's why ZD declares, "IT'S OVER! Where's the unsupervised Diprovan drip?)
ZD READER on paid subscription question: "Have you ever thought about offering paid subscriptions to your blog content? I mean, I'd gladly pay a monthly subscription fee. I'm sure other people would also."
ZD: "yeah, no one would do it, then my work against corruption isn't seen. the only value/leverage against council is that EVERYONE sees it. If I even put it on private for FREE, requiring people to subscribe for free, won't get ONE request. people just won't read. too big of a confusing hurdle."
ZD READER: "Seems like people are enjoying the buffet, and then leaving without paying the bill?"
ZD: yeah, i don't begrudge that. i don't pay for news content on the net, either. it is what it is. i'm just upset cause there ARE a lot of RICH PEOPLE who LOVE what I do and have pestered me/put me up to blasting council on their NIMBY issues, and they NEVER support me. I'm talking about those people. and then, it's always someone like you, or even broker who will give me five dollars out of their last ten dollars to help. AND, people like to WATCH ZD, then get all excited and make ALL KINDS of promises for paid TV shows and things, and i get excited...and it ALWAYS just fades away as people get busy with other things. THAT'S IT FOR NOW. DON'T TALK ABOUT IDEAS OR THE ZD REVENUE STREAM. It's OVER. It's PEAKED. IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. THAT'S WHY I AM IN THIS SITUATION. IT'S LIKE RUNNING A SPORTS CAR WITH THE EMERGENCY BREAK...I wanna be doing a lot of things, but I'm stuck at home without a cell phone, not enough money for nutrition and have to BIKE anywhere I need to be. And today, I didn't have the push for that, so I lost out. SO FORGET FUTURE IDEAS. I just wanna make it through the next few days. PAID IDEAS AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. A MILLION people will say they want to buy a Zuma Dogg shirt, then I'll offer it on the net and will get ZERO ORDERS. But if people see me in person, and I don't have any, they will want to buy one, on the spot. FORGET IT! WAS SUPPOSED TO HOST NEW YEARS EVE ON FOX FROM LAS VEGAS WITH RYAN SECREST. Was told, "DONE DEAL." NEVER HAPPENED! MTV SHOW/was told, start spending the money, now/NEVER HAPPENED (The Hills came out, from the producers who told ZD, "FOR SURE!" ADAM SANDLER PERSONALLY STOPPED ME WHEN HE SAW ME WALKING DOWN THE STREET...ZD=gonna be a big movie star in his movies...WELL...DID YOU EVER SEE ZUMA DOGG IN A MOVIE? FORGET IT!!!! I JUST WANNA HAVE A NICE WEEKEND AND NICE WEEK!
AFTER ALL OF THIS, I'M TOO BROKE TO FUNCTION, LET ALONE DO A GOSH DANG THING:
* "I've seen the future of television comedy. Zuma Dogg is the only American comedian today wearing the comedy-genius mantle once borne by Lenny Bruce, Allen Funt and Andy Kaufman." - Michael Heaton/Syndicated Pop-Culture Columnist
* "Brain-seizing artistry. A local underground superstar. -D. Harvey/LA Weekly
* "A public access icon." - M. Fleischer/LA Weekly
* "Local Legend" - Doug McIntyre/KABC, Red-Eye Radio
* Featured on ABC News Nightline, CBS2, KNBC4, KABC7, KCAL9, FOX11 TV and KFI, KABC, K-TALK & KRLA radio.
* "Zuma Dogg fought the oppressive, tightly controlled L.A. City Council meetings presided over by Council President Eric Garcetti, who had banned video cameras. After police tried to stop Zuma Dogg from taping the council deliberations, he railed against the big shots for months, slamming Garcetti as “Garshady” on his show and on his whistleblower blog. “Whatever happened to free speech in this country?,” Zuma Dogg asked. He prevailed against Garcetti’s rules, and now brings his cameracorder to every council meeting, as can any member of the public thanks to him." - LA Weekly.
* "You're actually one of my favorite people to watch on TV." - Former L.A. Mayor Richard Riordan to Zuma Dogg on KABC radio.
* " Zuma Dogg has distinguished himself as a "mix of curiosity and crusader" fighting for what he considers his free-speech rights."He's been able to do it with humor and at times be more direct and substantive." Los Angeles City Council President Eric Garcetti/Los Angeles Times
* "An original ... another treasure of Venice." - Los Angeles City Councilman Bill Rosendahl
* " A civic treasure." - Michael Higby/Mayor Sam's Blog (L.A. politics)
* "I've seen your show on TV. Keep doing what you're doing." - Dennis Franz
* "A very funny comedian." - Howard Stern
* "Everyone watches Zuma Dogg!" - Reggie Miller/NBA All Star
* "We watch your videos on our tour bus. We need more." - Dean DeLeo (STP)
* "I am such a fan of your show." - Courteney Cox-Arquette
* "Love your show buddy. I watch it all the time." - Adam Sandler
* "Zuma Dogg, not only one of the most recognizable figures at City Hall, cordially greeted by passersby, including security guards and Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, he also has the ear of high-level insiders, who feed him information in the hope that he’ll expose, and possibly stop, one questionable government project or another." - LA Weekly (Click here for article.)
* ""He wakes us up; it gets everyone's attention." L.A. City Controller Wendy Greuel/Los Angeles Times
(GOOD! I THINK IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH FOR MOST PEOPLE, IF MY ONLY DISTINCTION WAS WAKING THEM UP!)
* "Something between stunned and amazed. "I've never seen anything like it." - Former California Assembly Speaker, Councilman Herb Wesson/Los Angeles Times
THANKS TO THE NEARLY 10,000 PEOPLE who voted for "Zuma Dogg" in the last Los Angeles Mayoral election. (Not a bad number to pull, considering the historically low voter turnout, and the fact that ZD didn't spend a penny on his campaign, and didn't have the luxury of one flier." The mayor spent $3 million, just for comparison.)
* "Zuma Dogg, who is smarter than and knows more about city government than most Council members, has become something of an urban folk hero, skewering City Hall foibles and failures in his frequent public comment appearances broadcast on Channel 35. His campaigns for mayor and now CD2 attracted respectable numbers of votes for a candidate who was not only is penniless but homeless." - Ron Kaye/RonKayeLA.com (IMAGINE IF I HAD PENNIES TO WORK WITH!)
* "It would be nice to see someone with the heroism of Zuma Dogg in office." - Kevin James/870-KRLA Radio
* "I too, as you may know, am a Deming fan. I think your synthesis of his work is fabulous." - Anthony Robbins (Tony was kind enough to bow down to me on his stage in front of thousands of people, during a seminar that was being simulcast across the country. I am told that was the first and only time he did that. Awe shucks!)
* "Very Well Done." - Dr. W. Edwards Deming on "Interpreting Deming's 14 Points," by Zuma Dogg. (Published internationally in "Quality Digest." I was told the letter from Deming had to be a fake, cause all he ever did was scribble red ink on everything. Let alone send a response like that. I had to fax the letter to some folks for verification. LOL! Too good to be true. I was in my 20's and was told, they were expecting someone in their 60's or 70's, because it usually takes that long to be able to write something at that level. Awe Shucks!)
* "I especially liked your of explanation Deming's more controversial points." - Don Dewar/Publisher, Quality Digest
* "You not only took our ideas, but expanded them in ways I thought were very interesting." - Al Ries ("Marketing Warfare," "22 Immutable Laws of Marketing," "Focus.")
* "In the history of our company, we've never seen results like these. They were off the charts. We had to go back and re-enter the data to make sure it was correct." - Broadcast Architecture (The world's PREMIER radio and record industry market research company, serving the U.S., Japan and abroad; on $100,000 NYC radio research project ZD headed/created. Station went from #11 to #2! $MILILLIONS$ for station!)
Guess networks and cable channels couldn't come up with anything as good as "Zuma Dogg" for all their mulit-million dollar budgets and writers and producers and directors and technical crew and marketing departments. BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE WERE WATCHING "ZUMA DOGG" INSTEAD OF YOU...AND I HAD TO DO IT BY CATCHING THEIR ATTENTION IN A CHANNEL SURF, WITH THE (BY FAR) LOWEST PRODUCTION VALUE OF ANY SHOW IN TELEVISION HISTORY. I WIN, LOSER!:
UNSOLICITED EMAIL COMMENTS FROM REAL PEOPLE WHO CAUGHT "ZUMA DOGG" DURING AN L.A. CABLE TV CHANNEL SURF:
I was not at all prepared for the brilliance of your show.
In all honesty I was absolutely blown away. It was the most fresh, funniest, innovative thing that I've seen on television in the past five years
You're a genius! When can we catch more shows? Do you have any of your old shows available?
honestly, you may have been the funniest person i've ever see. I was laughing so hard I woke up my girlfriend.
If i owned a big TV company your show would be on 24/7!! I have never laughed so hard for so long, it's awesome. Can't wait for the next one, me and my friends will be talkin about it for a week! lol...
How can I get a copy of tonight's episode? It was the funniest thing I've seen in years. Thank you.
I hope you know you have the best show in the history of the planet!
I was wondering if I could maybe get your Autograph...It would mean alot...I know a ton of kids at my skool that love your show too....They are always talking in your voice and going crazy..
you have the best show ever, you are the best white rapper in the world!!!
It was so beautiful that I had tears in my eyes. Let's just say I was moved.
I think your show displays a VERY intelligent and socially conscience realistic view of the world and you do it in a very original and very artistic way.
NOBODY HAS DONE WHAT YOU ARE DOING. Keep it up.
i love your show. it is the most excellent thing in all of televisionland.
My name is Lauren and let me begin by saying you are one of the finest displays of unconventional genius I've seen in a long time.
We just wanted to write to let you know how spectacular we thought your show was.
i was just wondering, if there's anyway i can buy your shows on video or something.
my boyfriend and i just stumbled upon you singing saturday night fever tunes - and we can't stop laughing - thanks...
I caught your last episode. Let me tell you that it was a Classic. The part about Elton John had me laughing all night.
Do you sell your music or dvds of your show? If not, you should. Your latest song is good as hell.
saw your show the other night and let me say,it was some of the funniest shit i've seen on tv in a long time,keep up the good work.
My girlfriend and i caught your show for the first time 3 weeks ago. I recorded it and show it around to friends. It is so g-damn funny. I keep waiting to see you somewhere.
Just to let you know, I dig what you do, you are a funny and talented person. It took me a couple shows to get it but now I got it so keep it up, look forward to the new shows.
I CAN MATCH EVERY ONE OF THESE QUOTES WITH 100 MORE, JUST LIKE IT...but, you will STILL try to come up with a reason why it would NEVER WORK!
FUCK ZD REVENUE STREAMS IDEAS! IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN IN THIS LIFETIME. SORRY! NEXT!