Monday, February 15, 2010

A Conversation with L.A. (FAILURE) Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa (A Comedy Transcript From Los Angeles Times)

[Pictured: Douchebag-dummy says, "The fact is I've contributed -- I'm part of the problem." (On massive budget deficit he grew.) REALLY??? WOW, you must be the LAST to figure it out. Coming out of denial. Step #1! 500 million more steps to go, THIS YEAR!]

He's a defensive, touchy little crybaby in his conversation with the L.A. Times editorial board. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW HE COULD HAVE WALKED INTO THIS COMEDY BUZZ SAW! (He sounds even worse when you read him in transcript, compared to hearing him speak. Times was nice enough to edit out the "umms" and "ahhs."

Here's his opening statement before the interview portion:
"I'll be more than happy to answer your questions. The one thing -- and you can put that on the record -- I push back. I think you all know that I'm not a guy who -- you know, I push back. You all have a right to ask your questions, and I have a right to push back, and I do. So with that caveat in mind, ask your questions...." (VERY gracious of you mayor!)

AND REMEMBER TO BLAME FIRST, APOLOGIZE AFTER:

Villaraigosa:
...You haven't written about that yet, but I know you will.

Maeve Reston, L.A. Times: I did write about it.

Villaraigosa: Oh you did write about it. OK, that's right, I'm sorry.

Here's ZD's fantasy question:

Villaraigosa: My pension commissioners DID NOT lose billions in fake, phony LLC's on Wall Street.

Zuma Dogg: Yes, they DID.

Villaraigosa: Oh, you did write about that. OK, that's right, I'm sorry. The city DOES now have to pay 66% of every dollar to the pension loss bail-out.

HERE'S more of the REAL interview. (Aka: Comedy script.) Luckily, his aide was there to fill in the blanks (between Villar's ears).l

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