From the desk of
LAPD POLICE COMMISSIONER MEETING CITY CLERK: "Our next speaker is Zuma (sounding confused) Dogg?"
Zuma Dogg: "Yes, hello LAPD Police Commission. My name, as you and everyone watching on TV knows, is Zuma Dogg. And I represent a HUGE constituency and my LA City News.com blog is currently at record level viewership, in it's five year history.
First of all, I'd like to remind you, I heard Chief Beck say he might have to start taking highly trained LAPD personnel like SWAT officers and Homeland Security and move 'em to street patrol, due to budget cuts in the department.
But, in case you didn't know, Zuma Dogg is the self-appointed "Quality and Productivity Czar" of Los Angeles, published internationally and recognized by top authors and consultants as one of the world's leading experts on the topic of "Methods for Management of Quality and Productivity."
You can laugh all you want, but I have letters from Dr. W. Edwards Deming, Anthony Robbins, a and a slew of Fortune 500 execs who have praised my writings on the topic of "improving efficiency and reducing waste" and my article on the topic was published internationally in "Quality Digest."
So again, laugh all you want, but y'all are the ones who are trippin' all over your shoelaces like a bunch of Three Stooges, Keystone-Bad News Bears cops. YOU are the ones about to be forced to do MUCH MORE with MUCH LESS.
So here's the deal: You take the knucklehead cops you have at Venice Beach, harassing and intimidating the music performers on Ocean Front Boardwalk, in light of the recent Federal ruling...while the cops walk right past the illegal fruit vendors, who by law, are NOT allowed to be there...and have 'em do some other more important shit toward the goal of REAL public safety. Not Zuma Dogg singing, a guy playing cello and Matt Dowd one dollar incense.
The illegal fruit cart situation is escalating on the boardwalk. They are now three and four wide, in the center of the boardwalk, while the vendors have kids stand on the cement walls of the businesses they are set up in front of. (Go to the American Apparel area.)
In addition, the illegal vendors, who by law are not allowed to be there...shout, "Mangoes, Pineapple, Watermelon...Mangoes, Pineapple, Watermelon...Mangoes, Pineapple, Watermelon...," over and over, throughout the music performances. (So the people who just won the right to be there in a Federal lawsuit are being drown out by the illegal vendors, by law NOT allowed to be there -- as the cops walk right past them to harass, intimidate and take away the instruments of the performers.
I hope the cops aren't cultivating a "May Day Melee 2" environment on the beach, by stirring up and instigating problems in peaceful situations. The people on the boardwalk (toursits/vendors/performers/EVERYBODY who watch LAPD taser one too many kid for bullshit reasons -- may eventually have enough, one day and end up acting irrationally in the way they react to the situation.
But, there has been additional information brought to light that I would like to make you aware of, this morning. When asked why the cops REFUSE to do a thing about the illegal food vendors, a cop, frustrated by having his hands tied over the situation, as well, admitted aloud in frustration, "We are under orders from Mayor Villaraigosa not to do anything about it. Don't bother, 'his people.'" (SO INSTEAD...they walk right by and harass and intimidate the performers and anyone else who doesn't look right.
SO I SUGGEST, SINCE YOU ARE CLAIMING IN THE MEDIA YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO TRANSFER THE SWAT TEAM TO STREET PATROL...YOU TAKE THE COPS YOU ALREADY GOT AND HAVE THEM FIGHT CRIME AND LOOK OUT FOR TERRORISM, YOU DUMB MORONS!
And next time LAPD claims someone just called in to complain about a guy playing Bach on an acoustic cello, you tell them, "Sorry, Federal law says one person complaining does not give us the right to take away someone else's 1st Amendment Rights. I know it stinks, but it's the law. And might I add, you chose to move into an apartment that overlooks the boardwalk, you dumb fuck. So why the fuck are you even calling. We're trying to protect you from 46,000 early release prisoners who want to break through your window, attack you and steal your valuables. SORRY, we're running an undercover sting operation on Matt Dowd for his one dollar incense, and Zuma Dogg is about to sing, so we have six officers, two cars and an SUV heading his way. MOVE TO AGOURA HILLS!
CHIEF BECK: "Thank you."
Zuma Dogg (on way out door): "Hoooooooooooody Hooooooooooooooooo! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssss!"
RELATED POSTS TO THIS TOPIC:
CHIEF BECK: Is LAPD Pacific Division Going Out of Their Way To Create "May Day Melee 2" @VeniceBeach? (Sure SEEMS Like It...Better Watch It, CHUMPS!)
Informed Citizen Homework: Read Posts About Current L.A. City Hall FBI Investigations (LONG LIST!) & Illegal Fruit Vendors @ Venice Going to MEDIA!
SUNDAY NIGHT UPDATE: Damn, I got a dream-come-true pair of ZumaCAM glasses with a built in spycam and DVR to record the illegal fruit vending with lookout people, in action, today. But after yesterday's blogging on the matter, I think something may have been done, earlier in the day, before ZD showed up. GOOD! That's why I blog. I tend to not like sitting through nutty, time-wasting, Neighborhood Council hamster-wheel sessions, when I need something done. So here is the "we have lift-off" test video from the ZumaCam video glasses. (These should be fun.) And, YES...I'm STILL showing up to the LAPD police commission on Tuesday to put this issue down, on the record. So start thinking of a reason to cancel the meeting, now.