Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Zuma Dogg Recaps, "A Decade of Zuma Dogg," for his High School Friends, In Cleveland...but they don't beleive me. (Neither does the County Doctor.)

[PICTURED: When you're a recognized icon, this is all you need to show.]

GOOD MORNING, LOS ANGELES...you know when I get bitter and cranky, I like to reflect back on the past "Decade of Zuma Dogg," triumphant memories. And WHAT BETTER WAY, than in the form of my "Dave" (hometown/Clevelander) facebook page, to re-cap it all. So here's MY VERSION of the past decade, for the next reunion I won't be going to. (I would if it were local...just ain't gonna fly to Cleveland, for it. Don't think I'd make it through LAX, these days.) MAN, my haters are gonna HATE this. But Forrest Gump has his stories. Zuma Dogg has his.

ZUMA DOGG, told through the eyes of Dave's facebook page. (No one calls me, "David.")

GOOD MORNING, CLEVELAND!: Not gonna be able to make it to the next reunion, so as classmate, KG said, at least we have facebook, "virtual reunion." Just did my version, that is REALLY gonna sicken a lot of people, on the horn tootin' stuff. WHAT ELSE ARE REUNIONS FOR? ;-)

When you read some of the TRUE, but over the top adjectives used in facebook statuses post this evening's session, all I can say is, Plain Dealer said I was the only one in U.S. bearing thrown once borne by Andy Kaufman. And unfortunately, it ain't a comfy thrown.

When I'm walkin' streets of fire of these badlands, feeling like Springsteen's "Promised Land," I run, far away as I can. So, that's looking at facebook-faces, from IP servers in Cleve-land.
  • Here's the embedded video from the picture I posted below. FUNNY!

    Zuma Dogg Harassed by Crew of CBS "The Defenders" on Los Angeles Sidewalk: Here's what happens when some guy with a clipboard, walkie talkie AND NO PERMIT tries to prevent yours truly from walking down my own street block. The ENTIRE CREW has to try and handle a nutty, wet fish, flappin' around. (Including LITERALLY on the ground. WHATEVER IT TAKES for the shot, y'all!)
  • Here I am, just about to let the word, "PEOPLE," fly, as in, "Street light, PEO-OOOOO-OOOOLE!," during shoot of CBS TV show L.A. street. Zuma Dogg has done a lot of hilarious videos. This is the only one "David" has ever done. He's almost just as funny. Here's the video: HILARIOUS! http://youtu.be/oQm7T8jqm3c 
  • Been a lot of fun AND political awareness, during, past decade. The one, over-riding lesson is: ENTIRE EXPERIENCE WAS DELIVERED/FUELED BY COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS SPIRIT. See Bill Murray, "Scrooged/Groundhog's Day." Those both tell my story, along with, "Forrest Gump." Bruce said, "you spend your life waitin' for a moment, that just don't come," So, I don't waste my time, waiting. I live it every day.
  • What I said above, is the AMAZING, "quantum physics" lesson I learned. But the message, from the lesson...I've found, to BECOME referred to in largest U.S. media market (L.A.) as a, "prophet, genius, hero, legend, treasure, urban folk hero, icon," YOU HAVE TO TURN OFF THE TV! You will HAVE to miss an ENTIRE SEASON of your favorite prime time show, or even AN ENTIRE SEASON of your favorite sports team." (And I know there is ALWAYS at least one or two sports seasons, you like to follow, and more than one TV show.) I'M SORRY...YOU DO NOT BECOME ALL THAT BY LIVING YOUR DAY IN THE PEANUT GALLERY, YOU LOSERS!!! [And if you have kids, EVEN WORSE!] THANKS FOR MAKING ME A LEGEND, BY DEFAULT!

    Zuma Dogg - (Fox 11 Post "Good Day L.A." Interview): When you see this video, I HATED to be this smooth-looking, in a nice suit, but HAD to pull the card to PUNISH L.A. City elected officials, at that given moment, for an important TV appearance. People like this look when you are talking about critical municipal city issues, more than when you wear a black ski cap, sunglasses and "Grizzly Adams" beard. WHATEVER IT TAKES, ON ANY GIVEN DAY! [HERE'S THE VIDEO.]

    Most of them sicken me, but they admire me, so thanks to Gov Schwarzenegger (when he was Gov), L.A. District Attorney, L.A. County Sheriff, L.A. City Attorney & L.A. Council Members for THANKING me FOR MY EFFORTS on behalf of the people of L.A. and CA. ("Keep exposing it!" - Gov Schwarzenegger to Zuma Dogg
  • When I wanted to tell Gov Schwarzenegger something, when I bumped into him at Starbucks, his security blocked me. I said to Arnold, "You KNOW me, right?" He said, "Of course!" And he waved his security off, as I did all the talkin', he did all the listening, and everyone else around had to watch/DENIED ACCESS.

    • ONE THING, EVERY elected official in L.A. County WISHES they had: The awareness and respect the people of L.A. have for "Zuma Dogg," based on what he stands for and won't stand for. They try, but cannot buy what I wish I could sell. (But it never works, for either one, either way.)

      VIRTUAL HIGH SCHOOL REUNION: If you are just checking my facebook page, for the first time, it may look like I've become some serious, economic guy. I HAVE! But that's only one, of my two, conflicting personalities. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SOME FUN ON MY BEHALF, by watching the YouTube videos and listening to the music posted on my web site, http://ZumaDogg.com/.

      Here's an email that came in, today, from someone who just came across my body of work on YouTube: "u r the man. Saw your youtube videos. got a better understanding of your history now. I have respect bro. you are cool shit. " (Thank YOU, bro! Winnin' over the next generation, the EASY WAY! With YouTube videos for efforts I already generated in the past=ZD LIVES ON, FOREVER!)

      If I post a picture of my SHADOW on the internet, half the city knows EXACTLY who it is. That's called, "BEING AN ICON!" I wish I was this popular in high school. Oh well, I'll take it, now.


      I'm really on an "Andy Kaufman" role, tonight. Think how, "bitter/cranky," y'all...so all I can do is relish and take it all in and accept the fame for what it is, y'all...a historic, phenomenon, the likes of which human history has never seen, from what I've been told, too numerous of an amount of times, than the character limit on facebook will allow me to post.
  • SCREW, American Express: A SUPERIOR MIND has it's privileges. But you don't get one by watching prime time TV or keeping up on/watching all the latest sports games. I take the victor spoils of community spirit, by default. Thank you. And, GO (Insert Dumb, Meaningless SPORTS TEAM)!
  • GOLD hit $1900=first time, ever. I'm sure many friends/family remember where you were, first time I urged you to buy GOLD, at $850. Even recently, I told my pal to, "buy GOLD," at $1100. He didn't want to, cause he thought it peaked. I DEMANDED for him to DO IT! (PLEASE DO NOT THINK, WHEN I SPEAK!) Glad I was able to help a few folks out. (Along with URGING you to buy AAPL @ $85. My smart-ass classmates who are always smarter, mocked me!) [Prophet, Genius, Legend, Treasure, Icon=FOR A REASON!]
  • AN URGENT ALERT TO FELLOW CLEVELANDERS, NOW, HOMEOWNERS IN LOS ANGELES CITY LIMITS: Sell you house...GET OUT NOW! Not sure if you've read the budget and heard what is being said during the City Council meetings. You will see big decline in quality of living standards, this year. And the bottom will be falling out, in '12-'13. YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE HERE! I AM WARNING OUT OF COMPASSION, even though I know you won't believe me, till it's too late, as usual.

    "Zuma Dogg, who is smarter than and knows more about city government than most Council members, has become something of an urban folk hero, skewering City Hall foibles and failures in his frequent public comment appearances broadcast on Channel 35." - Ron Kaye/RonKayeLA.com
  • Zuma Dogg fought the oppressive, tightly controlled L.A. City Council meetings, which had banned video cameras. After police tried to stop him from taping the council deliberations, he railed against the big shots for months, slamming Council on his show and whistleblower blog. “Whatever happened to free speech in this country?,” Saltsburg asked. He prevailed against their rules, and now brings his cameracorder to meetings, AS CAN ANY MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC THANKS TO HIM." - LA Weekly.

    "Zuma Dogg, not only one of the most recognizable figures at City Hall, cordially greeted by passersby, including security guards and Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, he also has the ear of high-level insiders, who feed him information in the hope that he’ll expose, and possibly stop, one questionable government project or another." - LA Weekly
  • "Zuma Dogg is the only American comedian today wearing the comedy-genius mantle once borne by Lenny Bruce, Allen Funt and Andy Kaufman." - Michael Heaton/Plain Dealer
  • "Brain-seizing artistry. A local underground superstar. -D. Harvey/LA Weekly
  • "A public access icon." - M. Fleischer/LA Weekly
  • Batman, Spiderman, Bruce Wayne, Joker, Peter Parker...we all got our conflicts caused by crime and corruption.- Zuma Dogg 
  • After my work, as L.A.'s political icon, voice of the People, I get to come home and sing Steve Perry karaoke, like Rainman gets to drive slow on Sunday.

 Legends, Zuma Dogg & Matt Dowd, on their, "You're Welcome, America," tour, in celebration of their VICTORY over L.A. in U.S. FEDERAL COURT on most important 1st Amendment, Free Speech issues. (Hence, "You're Welcome, America.") NOW, they can't do it to YOU, no matter WHERE you live in U.S." The LEAST I could do as a, *"heroic, legend, genius, prophet, treasure, icon." *=as referred to in L.A. media. YouTube L.A. Cable Classic: Zuma Dogg w/Matt Dowd - "Comfortably Numb"

THAT WAS JUST THE WARM-UP/INTRO, TO GET YOU READY FOR MY REAL, HARD-CORE, NARCISSISTIC, DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: Zuma Dogg Tweets Auto-biography for People With A.D.D. (Like ZD) via Tweets! ("A Decade of Zuma Dogg" in ONE Blog Post/Lots of Hollywood Name Dropping) You will say, "He's CRAZY!," and that IS a topic, up for debate.

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