Mr. PERFECT MAMA'S BOY ERIC GARCETTI Explains In L.A. Times, Budget Problem Isn't His Fault, and City's BANKRUPTING EXPANSION, "Was Kind of Christmas"

Mr. FEELGOOD, Eric Garcetti on City over-expanding itself straight into credit downgrades and bankruptcy talk:

"It was kind of Christmas time: Everybody who had ideas or programs ... we saw them happen in a lot of areas that weren't necessarily thought of as core mission areas, but certainly have had a good effect." OH, hoo hoo hooooooo! It was kind of like CHRISTMAS TIME. It all had a "good" effect. That IS the city's role...to have a "good" (warm and fuzzy feel good) effect. At the end of the day, although the entire city is now at risk to even survive and provide basic public safety, at least we went out on a "feel good, almost like Christmas tip." WOW, I feel FUCKING GREAT!

Eric Garcetti: "Panicking won't fix the city budget" (But maybe beating your ass will!)

The City Council president urges pols and the press to tone down their alarmism over L.A.’s financial situation (DON'T COMPLAIN OR SAY ANYTHING WHEN THEY ARE DRIVING IT INTO THE GROUND...THEN DON'T SAY ANYTHING, AFTER THEY BLOW IT. PLEASE!!! Maintain decorum. Stay polite. Keep you hair neat and tie straight. If you stick to those fundamentals, everything else will work out like a feel-good Hollywood holiday movie (that is now filming in Boston).

February 23, 2010

Los Angeles City Council President Eric Garcetti stopped by The Times Monday to discuss with editors and reporters his perspectives on closing the city's $485 million budget deficit. Below are most of Garcetti's opening remarks to Times staffers.

Eric Garcetti: I would say that there are four driving facts that got us to where we are today. And excuse me, I'm sure you all know this, but I'll try to do it in just a little bit of detail and sketch it out for you.

One is that we saw growth in the number of employees that we've had since the very end of the Riordan administration. [OH, mention Riordan. That will remind people the problem is from a LONG time ago. WAY before Eric was in charge. Not HIS fault! He's FUCKING PERFECT!]

There were some good economic times, and actually in his last year in office we saw expansion by, I think, a couple thousand workers in our general-funded positions, at the end of the Riordan administration, beginning of the Hahn administration.

Robert Greene, L.A. Times: Concentrated in any one particular area?

Garcetti: No, they were actually pretty nicely spread. [OH...NICELY SPREAD! The city is SO efficicient. It was actual spread very NICELY. And NICESNESS is next to bankruptciness.]

It was kind of Christmas time: Everybody who had ideas or programs ... we saw them happen in a lot of areas that weren't necessarily thought of as core mission areas, but certainly have had a good effect. We saw economic catalyst programs for our main streets and a lot of our neighborhoods. We saw growth in libraries. [LIBRARIES DO NOT STIMULATE THE ECONOMIC TAX BASE!] A lot of facilities that we passed bonds for throughout California were great at saying yes to building things, but not very good at saying yes to the money to staff them. But we had some money to do the staffing for the growth of our fire department, the growth of our police department, the growth of our libraries and some of the other civic municipality buildings that we put up.

[THIS INTERVIEW WILL BE THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING FOR WEEKS TO COME.]

Here's the entire comedy transcript from a silver-spooned, out-of-touch, arrogant and ignorant, not as sharp as I thought, it's never his fault, do nothing, downgraded, marriage no one buys as consummated, mamma's boy. (Aka: Eric Garcetti!)