My finger tips hurt from hanging in. I think they're slipping...

what was posted here was too uncomfortable so i removed it. suffice to say, things are worse for me than you realize, and not a person contacted me to see if you could help. I spent a lot of years helping complete strangers, I never met. And spent a lot of energy and fought hard at my own expense to help them. I guess I'm a fucking IDIOT like my dad used to tell me about Zuma Dogg and activism. A WASTED EFFORT that now becomes the END of me. NOT A SOUL IN THE CITY PROVIDING ANY OUTREACH TO ZUMA DOGG. That's how you know things are winding down. I am SSI disabled, and don't make it from here. And no one rallied/provided outreach...so if you hear I died...don't lose a second of Holiday joy or spirit...DON'T EVEN GIVE IT A SECOND THOUGHT. People die, everyday. I don't like having this post break up the flow of otherwise productive/good blog posts, and I DO think my blog is better than it ever has been. But I gotta put out a message in a bottle, to let folks know. Cause maybe, eventually, it will cause something to click for me. And my SSI disability...really is getting in the way of my day to day life.