ZUMA DOGG Twitter Update for 8/17/10: Politics, Political Comedy, Hollywood DISH & DIRT & MOST IMPORTANTLY, American Idol Advice!

[Pictured: Y2K debut of now legendary one-of-a-kind, iconic phenomenon, the likes of which has never been seen. Noooooooo! NOT Johnny "Mud" Mudman! The OTHER guy in NC blue!]

1. 1PM UPDATE: Thanks to wi-fi and a milk crate, the previous tweets from today have been brought to you from Zuma Dogg's bed. Time to perhaps roll out... 10 minutes ago via HootSuite
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2. Oxnard City Hall raided by federal agents over possible misuse of public money. Oxnard City Hall should have called @EricGarcetti for tips. about 2 hours ago via HootSuite
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3. HOW TO IMPROVE AMERICAN IDOL PERFORMANCE: You have to FEEL and ASSOCIATE with the words. If singing, My City Is Gone, think of Villaraigosa! 11 minutes ago via HootSuite
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4. Seriously, I DO think Jan Perry has a classy intelligence when she speaks. But, when it comes to running a district, I'd prefer Mr. Magoo. about 1 hour ago via HootSuite
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5. JAN PERRY'S DOWNTOWN VIBRANCY: First Maddux LUXURY buildings (9th&Flower, etc) go belly up, NO Grand Ave Project, trash piling up, manufacturing left, NOW American Apparel tanks....JAN PERRY FOR MAYOR! about 1 hour ago via HootSuite
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6. Maybe if American Apparel's primary shareholder wasn't "repeatedly sued for sexual harassment" the company may have pulled through. A FACTOR about 1 hour ago via HootSuite
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7. The WONDERFUL American Apparel company, founded on such ethical financial practices TANKS on Wall St. today over shady financial practices. about 1 hour ago via HootSuite
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8. HOW TO IMPROVE AI PERFORMANCE: The songs are telling stories. You have to "go there." If singing, Brick In The Wall, think of your teachers! 13 minutes ago via HootSuite
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9. HOW TO IMPROVE AMERICAN IDOL PERFORMANCE: Songs are telling stories. Feel the words. If U sing Billie Jean, get nervous over paternity suit. 15 minutes ago via HootSuite
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10. VOICE ONLY SECONDARY: When delivering vocal performance, you are acting; but singing lines instead of speaking them. FEEL story being told. 17 minutes ago via HootSuite
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11. When you think of all time great female vocalists Mariah, Whitney, Barbara, Celine all come to mind. ZD PUTS OLIVA NEWTON-JOHN WAY UP THERE! 19 minutes ago via HootSuite
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12. When I told Phil Collins, "Prank was yrs before my arrival,." He points, "Yes, but you're smirking NOW!" Cause Phil Collins was scolding me! 20 minutes ago via HootSuite
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13. It was SURREAL and SHOCKING to have Phil Collins scolding you like your father cause he's such a fun guy on stage. (Oops, sounds like ZD!) 25 minutes ago via HootSuite
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14. NASTIEST CELEBRITY ZD MET: Phil Collins! Scolded ZD for station prank YEARS before I arrived. Yelled at me MORE after show! A FINGER JABBER! 26 minutes ago via HootSuite
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15. ACTOR ZD MOST STOKED TO MEET: Dennis Franz for being one of the all-time best actors and a veteran. Told ZD, "Keep doing what you're doing." 36 minutes ago via HootSuite
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16. COOLEST ACTORS ZD EVER MET: Emilio Estevez & Dan Cortese, both very kind to ZD w words, but as down to earth and "bro" as long-time friend. 38 minutes ago via HootSuite
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17. WEIRDEST HOLLYWOOD ACTOR ZD EVER MET: Basically, ALL of them. Can't single out nuttiest. Living on set dulls your mind and personality. 40 minutes ago via HootSuite
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18. COOLEST ROCK START ZD EVER MET: STP guitar-legend Dean DeLeo. A man not afraid to live daily life amongst the fans! Drove ZD to his house! 43 minutes ago via HootSuite
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19. MOST "OUT THERE" ROCK STAR ZD EVER MET: Sad to say, one of all time faves...PAUL STANLEY. MAN, is THAT guy weird. Reminded me of Mr. Rogers. about 1 hour ago via HootSuite
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20. I don't know why they don't play Beatles, Stevie Wonder, Beach Boys, Stones, James Brown, Led Zep, Bowie Elton, U2 & Marley on ONE station? about 1 hour ago via HootSuite
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21. IT'S NOT LIKE THEY HAVE TO PAY FOR THE MUSIC?: Since radio stations play the exact same short list of songs, EVERY DAY: ZUMA MUSIC RADIO. about 1 hour ago via HootSuite
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22. ZUMA MUSIC RADIO: Now streaming Pop/Rock/R&B/80's Wave of 70s, 80s & 90s. Fun, upbeat mix. Old style Top-40 music feel. http://ZumaShow.com. about 1 hour ago via HootSuite
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23. Maybe she's happy working part-time at ABC 7 as weekend anchor/reporter, but I wonder why ABC/NY (national) hasn't hired LISA HERNANDEZ. about 1 hour ago via HootSuite
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24. The best news anchor/field reporter in LA (maybe anywhere) is LISA HERNANDEZ. A warm, friendly beauty with PERFECT tonality & annunciation. about 1 hour ago via HootSuite
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25. Problem with market research: It's EASY to read what it says in the report. But the dummies can't seem to implement, creatively, in reality. about 1 hour ago via HootSuite
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26. Unfortunately, it's officially 1 day too late and now I don't give a fuck. if you had to deal w zd for anything, you are fucked as of today. about 2 hours ago via HootSuite
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27. Whenever I turn my attention to something, I end up being an outstanding phenomenon shocking top experts in the field. Wonder what's next? about 6 hours ago via HootSuite
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28. Hope Adam Sandler suffers a personal tragedy today and I hope Courteney Cox Arquette mars her face for life, since that's all she's got/had. about 7 hours ago via HootSuite
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29. The lousy day is starting off early today. needed to put more time between miserable episodes. THERE IS NO NEED FOR ME TO BE UP AT ALL! about 7 hours ago via HootSuite
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30. I hope the kids of some of the Malibu stars that made ZD fake promises and even worse, ripped me off NEVER get hired and end up on streets. about 15 hours ago via HootSuite
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31. When I called Sandler's office asking for low-level stand-in work & was told, "No way, gonna use ZD as main star," could've just said, "No." about 15 hours ago via HootSuite
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32. Called Sandler's production office once to see if I could get "stand-in" work. Was told, "NO WAY, gonna use ZD as main star." What a crock! about 15 hours ago via HootSuite
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33. Someone from a LIVE gig site must have read my tweets from tonight and wants to do story on their site about ZD w gig info. Too late=retired about 15 hours ago via HootSuite
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34. Wonder what I'm gonna do tomorrow? Probably listen to my music stream all day & night, again. Time well spent, in my mind! Why do anything? about 15 hours ago via HootSuite
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35. Zuma Music Radio: Merely trying to be a good version of your favorite local pub's jukebox that you can listen to online http://ZumaShow.com. about 16 hours ago via HootSuite
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36. When I look at clock at 9pm (KEVIN JAMES SHOW old time slot), I can tell you, there's ALL the difference between 9p and 12mid start time. about 16 hours ago via HootSuite
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37. Someone said, "Can't believe I'm meeting ZD! HEARD so much of you." I said, "Never saw show?" Said, "No, my friends talk about you all day!" about 16 hours ago via HootSuite
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38. Ever Hear of Legendary, One-of-A-Kind Phenomenon, Zuma Dogg (Likes Of Which Has Never Been Seen Before?) Find Out Mo... http://ow.ly/18Boj0 about 17 hours ago via HootSuite

FOR A GOOD TIME: Zuma Original Music & Comedy AUDIO (ALL the hits!) Zuma Dogg legendary, iconic performances on YouTube over the past "Decade of Zuma Dogg." (A legendary body of work that will never be duplicated, replicated, imitated or initiated. U CAN'T TOUCH IT!)

Ever Hear of Legendary, One-of-A-Kind Phenomenon, Zuma Dogg (Likes Of Which Has Never Been Seen Before?) Find Out More Via These BITTERsweet Tweets

# Guess it's tough getting over 4 year intense effort leading to teachers, fire, cops, pastors, city workers and public at large thanking you. 37 minutes ago via HootSuite

# Guess it's tough getting over an intense decade where you produced a creative effort that made Hollywood "A" list giddy in your presence. 39 minutes ago via HootSuite

# Some can capture the 12-14 end. Some the 35-64 crowd. But I don't think ANYONE has captured a 12-64+ crowd the way ZD has. AND, never will. about 1 hour ago via HootSuite

# CAN YOU THINK OF ANYONE who 15-24 yr olds go CRAZY for as entertainer - ALONG w their parents AND 1000s of senior fans, as city activist? about 1 hour ago via HootSuite

# CAN U THINK OF ANYONE who I can compare myself to? Someone who can get cheers from crowd as performer, and UNCOVER & EXPOSE city shadiness? about 1 hour ago via HootSuite

# Listen, when you have a pastor stop you on the downtown streets and thank you, "for what you do at city hall," you're doing SOMETHING right. about 1 hour ago via HootSuite

# When some young kids hopped out of seats at restaurant AND RAN OUTSIDE to meet ZD walking down street, befuddled dad was DAVE THOMAS! SCTV! about 1 hour ago via HootSuite

# I THINK THEY CAN AFFORD TO RENT A DVD - AND I KNOW THEY HAVE TIVO: Yet The Arquettes, Sandlers, Hudson-Robinsons, etc were watching ZD Show. about 1 hour ago via HootSuite

# HEY LOSER HOLLYWOOD PRODUCER: Ever have a mom walk up and say, "So YOU'RE ZD? My son stays locked in his room all day watching your videos. about 1 hour ago via HootSuite

# WHEN YOU CONSIDER that my show used to air in PRIME 10pm slot - yet no show generated bigger buzz, means Hollywood SUCKS ass compared to ZD. about 1 hour ago via HootSuite

# Used to tell friend, "A lot of people watch ZD show." (HE WOULDN'T) 1 day says, "Was at gym. People were talking about your show." HUGE BUZZ about 1 hour ago via HootSuite

# HOW BITTER: Spenser Pratt & Brody J, both BIG ZD fans. ZD was told by producers, "DONE DEAL" on MTV show. Got bumped for "The Hills." about 1 hour ago via HootSuite

# I really don't know WHAT I would do without my Zuma Music Radio stream. Music mix changes throughout day, but ALL GOOD! http://ZumaShow.com. about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING: "Well Gee, ZD...why did you leave that NYC radio station?" Upward and onward to bigger position, elsewhere in NYC. about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# Manager at NYC radio station that was #10 when I walked in, #1 when I walked out & tanked after I left, told execs, "ZD was a big reason" about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# IS IRONIC THE WORD: A NYC radio station not being able to find ANYONE to get station from 10th to 1st, EXCEPT ZD? (Went down after I left!) about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# Was at karaoke bar and the manager walks over to DJ and says, "Let THAT guy (ZD) keep singing. The customers want to see it." UNPRECEDENTED! about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# When people discuss what kinda soy milk I drink; or phone friends that I just left a store; or call others to say, "ZD's HERE": THAT'S HUGE! about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# Someone asked, "Do you like soy milk?" I say, "Why?" Someone told her they saw me buy a certain brand. A YEAR AFTER I BOUGHT IT! THAT'S BUZZ about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# I was walking across mall parking lot. Someone shouts, "Everyone knows Zuma Dogg!" Didn't know it was Reggie Miller, but my friend FLIPPED! about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# A MESSAGE TO BIG BUDGET, BIG STAFF, ARROGANT, HOLLYWOOD LOSER-PRODUCERS: You spend all that money, then people say they watched MY show? about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# THINK ABOUT IT: I put show on TV and MASSES tell me how much they like it. (Guess they weren't watching other 200 channels being paid for?) about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# Many, many celebrities have approached ZD. But 1 actor ZD could not keep from approaching: DENNIS FRANZ. Of course he knew ZD for activism! about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# A Starbucks barista once ran a cup of coffee over to ZD waiting in long line cause, "you're a celebrity," while Pierce Brosnan watched. LOL! about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# Do you know what it takes to have elite billionaires' kids, bar-party crowd have you to all the after-hours parties - WHEN YOU ARE IN 40's! about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# You'd think if you were movie legend; made $1 mil per TV show; sold 100 million LPs; or a mogul, ZD wouldn't be big deal to you in person? about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# Would think if your dad was Martin Sheen or in R&R Hall of Fame; Bob Dylan was your babysitter or a Grammy winner, ZD wouldn't be big deal. about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# MAKES ME BIPOLAR when I think how Malibu folks were so COMPLETELY KNOCKED OUT by ZD, when they are TOP Hollywood shakers? (The stars' star?) about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# Ever sit down at restaurant, spend a lot of time sitting there; then once ONE person approaches you, rest of restaurant makes way over, too. about 2 hours ago via HootSuite

# Ever have someone who you know from watching on TV approach you and say, "I didn't know if I should bother you, but..." (insert accolades.) about 3 hours ago via HootSuite

# I AM CRAZY!: Before activism, there's a musician ON TOUR NOW who once gave me keys to his BENZ to pick stuff up while staying at his house. about 3 hours ago via HootSuite

# I could show up @ Starbucks/Malibu & be sitting with a rock star I've paid to see or actor I've admired. Maybe take a drive w one. ROADTRIP! about 3 hours ago via HootSuite

# There are people w family members in Rock & Roll Hall of Fame who's house I could show up at & knock on door un-announced. Time for Malibu! about 3 hours ago via HootSuite

# Though not financially, I DO feel it's of tremendous value exposing shadiness @ council meetings. Unfortunately, would take driver for ZD. about 3 hours ago via HootSuite

# No offense to Venice/SantaMon. But I have over 10 yrs invested living in Malibu. That's where everyone I know is. Will NEVER top that here. about 3 hours ago via HootSuite

# No better bus route in America than the one from Santa Monica Pier to Malibu. Straight down PCH. Only one stop. Car can't get there faster! about 3 hours ago via HootSuite

# Though people of LA grabbed ZD's attention past 4 yrs, would be nice to take bus down PCH to Malibu for morning coffee. Most hometown to ZD. about 3 hours ago via HootSuite

# Can still crank out the creative content, but can't be my own agent/manager/publicist/producer/web-tech guy myself, anymore. So it's OVER! about 3 hours ago via HootSuite

# WHY REFLECT ON THE PAST DECADE OF ZUMA DOGG, NOW?: It's OVER! Memories are all I got, y'all! about 4 hours ago via HootSuite

# When college students refused to believe it was ZD at La Salsa cause, "No way would ZD be ordering his own food," NOT like it was Taco Bell! about 4 hours ago via HootSuite

# REGULAR GUY, LARGER THAN LIFE PERSONA: How funny college students thought, "NO WAY could ZD be at La Salsa, ordering for himself. TOO BIG!" about 4 hours ago via HootSuite

# Still laugh when I think of the time I was threatened at bar for "impersonating" ZD, cause he felt there was NO WAY ZD would really be here. about 4 hours ago via HootSuite

# A lot of people have way better singing voices than ZD. But very few people can walk into room of strangers and get them cheering, like ZD. about 4 hours ago via HootSuite

# L.A. is a highly-transitional city. People moving out all the time & new people moving in. Hopefully, in 5 yrs, ZD will be more anonymous! about 5 hours ago via HootSuite

# When ZD says he thinks he has higher name recognition for activism than anyone in city, I mean amongst entire city, not just among bloggers. about 5 hours ago via HootSuite

# A LOT of people throughout LA have done tremendous activism work. But don't think anyone in city has higher name recognition for such as ZD. about 5 hours ago via HootSuite

# I think the only person in recent decades who can say they top ZD's comedic achievement is Jim Carrey in ZD's mind. But some like ZD better. about 5 hours ago via HootSuite

# Dave Chappell & Dave/ZD both from Ohio; both walked away from performing. Dave C with millions in bank. Dave ZD with a few bucks in pocket. about 5 hours ago via HootSuite

# Listening to Barry Manilow, "Looks Like We Made It." Zuma Dogg recording new song, "Looks Like He DIDN'T Make It." about 11 hours ago via HootSuite

Why Would Adam Sandler and The Arquettes Let Zuma Dogg Deteriorate On Streets of L.A. (If I Was Their FAVORITE THING EVER?)

Why would Adam Sandler, David Arquette and Courteney Cox-Arquette (The Arquettes) and even decent people like Emilio Estevez and SO many other Hollywood "A" listers including Grammy/Emmy and Academy Award winners and their agents and producers think it's o.k. to let Zuma Dogg die homeless and alone on the (getting darker earlier and colder earlier) streets of Los Angeles, when so many of them have told me that Zuma Dogg is their favorite thing ever.

Don't worry, I'm perfectly comfortable having anyone go to these people and say, "Zuma Dogg said that YOU said he was your favorite thing ever." YES, you can put it in those strong of terms.

You should have heard the things their "people" told me they said about me in order to try and "convince" the "GREAT" Zuma Dogg to show up at their parties or say hello to their friend on a cell phone, or shoot a greeting on their camcorder...thinking I was such a "larger than life" and "un-approachable" ar'teest (artist) that I wouldn't want to be bothered with their commercial crowd.

Oh no...Zuma Dogg was chompin' at the bit to be mixin' it up with all of y'all as I passed my many of you in Malibu at the grocery stores and video stores and shopping plazas and coffees shops. Before many of you bowed down to Big ZD to pay your respects and stare at me in amazement trying to figure out how and the hell a regular guy like me could be the magic behind the mask; I walked amongst you WONDERING if you had ever stumbled upon my show.

A year before Sandler pulled up to Zuma Dogg in his SUV to wave me over to shake my hand and let me know how fantastic he thought I was, I walked passed Sandler at Coogie's Malibu (Colony Shopping Plaza) one Sunday, JUST HOPING he would say, "Hey, Zuma Dogg...I LOVE your show."

Amazingly, and I have referred to quantum physics and Wayne Dyer stuff and what it takes (directing intense energy in a very narrow focus), about a year later, Sandler was pulling up to ZD in his SUV and I'm sure I saw the biggest smile out of Sandler that anyone has ever seen.

He told me to call his office, so I thought about it, and a few weeks later, I mean the next day (Monday, cause it was Sunday), I called his office. I was kind of apologetic for calling in the first place, and said, "Oh, my name is Zuma Dogg and I saw Adam over the weekend and he told me to call...hope it's not a bad time..."

She cut me off so fast and said, "No, no, no...I don't know WHO you are, but I have NEVER heard Adam (Sandler) talk about anyone like that before. No problem at all."

Meanwhile, when I spoke to the guy in the editing room, he told me he heard so much noise through the walls, he ran into the other room to see what it was, and it was Sandler on the floor...HOWLING at Zuma Dogg videos.

He wore one of the original Zuma Dogg T shirts in a Christmas video message to the troops in Iraq, one year.

SO WHY WOULD HE WANT TO LET ZD DIE ON THE STREET WHEN IT COULD SO EASILY BE PREVENTED. DAMN, if it were the 70's and Gene Simmons or Fonzie were dying on the street and you were an international production conglomerate, you would think you would want to prevent them from demise, just so you could keep you "happy machine" alive.

All his people told me was he's such a nice guy and means what he says and kept telling me things were in the pike.

A year after nothing was happening, but was still in contact with Sandler and his staff, I called over to his office to see if I could get some basic "stand-in" work, which is not glamorous and no big deal, but the $100 bucks a day would have saved me.

They said, "Are you crazy? We are going to use you for some main parts and can't pigeon hole you as a stand-in." (Which you Hollywood insiders know is true and a good sign. But DAMN, I knew they were full of "s" on the Hollywood star thing, and the stand-in work would have been a miracle for me, and still would be.)

I wonder if he had a hidden camera on me tonight and saw the REAL ZD reality show and how things are going and how I am going to make it through tonight, let alone tomorrow if he would even slow his hi-speed golf cart down to toss me a cracker from craft service? Probably not.

But he would probably feel bad for a few minutes, or maybe even a good part of the day if he heard anything happened to me of a conclusive nature. Because there's always that thought in the back of your mind that there is always time and eventually something will happen and there's always time.

One day, the lady at the Malibu cable company called and said Courteney Cox-Arquette was trying to get my phone number and although the cable company doesn't usually release phone numbers (as they shouldn't) she gave C.C. my number. (Of course I said to the cable lady, "Oh, how DARE you...I said don't give it to anyone. Sigh...oh well.")

So yes, about a day later there was a voice mail message from some chick. She said, "Hi, Zuma Dogg. You don't know me, but this is Courteney Cox...ah, Arquette (guess she was still getting used to the last name) and David (her husband David Arquette) is a big, big fan of yours, as am I (Courteney). "

She told me I was David's "favorite thing ever," and all their friends watch my videos at their parties and David is addicted to talking in "Zuma Dogg" voice and his assistant told me it was really annoyingly obsessive as it became with so many Malibu ZD show watchers. (The show was on 7 nights a week at 10pm for years.)

So C.C. was having a big Birthday party for David, and it was not some HUGE thing, but the smaller, intimate gathering of close friends and family. (Not some bash at a bar, but a nice party at their Malibu home, you heard so much about. Including ZD, who has driven past many a party at the place wondering what it would be like in there.)

I was in Cleveland at the time, enjoying the summer there and wasn't planning on coming back, right away. She kinda begged me to come, not thinking I would want to even attend or be bothered. NO, it was hilarious...because she was like, "I don't know if you would want to do it...and you don't have to perform, but can just come as yourself if you don't want to have to be "on"...and even added, "and if you can't make it on that day (in early September), THEY WOULD MOVE THE DATE OF THE PARTY. IT WAS MY ATTENDANCE THAT WAS MANDATORY, OBVIOUSLY, BECAUSE SHE SAID THEY WOULD MOVE THE DATE IF I COULDN'T MAKE IT IN TIME.

My making it in time DID require them to get me a ticket to fly back out to L.A., even though I wasn't ready to yet.

And it was a magical evening for me, that's for sure. It was a beautiful event at their Malibu ocean front pad. And Jennifer Aniston was supposed to make it (with Brad at the time) and they couldn't make it, but Courteney told me Jennifer is a big fan and says, "Zuma Dogg Y'all!" (I don't know if C.C. said that just to be nice? Why would she?) Matt (Joey) was there and he was REALLY nice and took a lot of time questioning me about my craft. And C.C. was the BEST host and EVERYONE was treating me like a subject on James Lipton "Actors Studio" and they were all recanting bits from my show and imitating me back to me. And Springsteen's engineer Bob Clearmountain was there, who Courteney was still friends with through the Springsteen video, believe it or not. So that was the best part for me. Hearing all the Springsteen stories from the guy who's name I stared at so much on the album covers.

IT WAS A VERY, VERY, VERY SURREAL EXPERIENCE. I think that loser Jamie Kennedy was there, who is friends with the Arquettes. Anyway, it all went kinda bad, when Jamie "No-Talent-Loser" Kennedy came out with his Jamie Kennedy Experiment Show with clips that were FLAT OUT, 100% --- DIRECT RIP OFFS from my Zuma Dogg Show clips that aired on L.A. cable.

THEN, I read in a magazine, "Oh yes, Jamie is so talented," says pal David Arquette. Then it all came back to me. (THE PARTY!)

AND, I was watching TBS one day, and saw some lame show with some British chick doing my EXACT same F*CKING segments and I said, "THERE IS NO WAY THEY COULD HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT SEEING MY SHOW, FIRST."

Turns out the show was produced by David and Courteney's Production Team. All the while they said they were too busy with their own production to start a project with me. LOL!

I hope they dispute this and contact me for libel, so I will be forced to prove it in court then they'll have to pay up, but the show was a flop and probably lost money. BUT, it took away my from my uniqueness, and now if a network sees it they can say, "Oh, we already saw this." But it was done by some un-funny loser, in a canned/set-up, staged and scripted environment. So wonder why it didn't work.

I ALWAYS WONDERED WHY THEY JUST DIDN'T USE ZUMA DOGG FOR THE SHOW???

People just hate to take chances. But the reason why these people feel it's o.k. to simply let me die on the streets, in pain and homeless -- after they beg me to say hello and tell me I am their favorite thing ever is because they just think they are better than me, because they have agents and producers and millions of dollars and I'm just some guy who happens to be really good...the most amazing thing they've ever seen, actually.

And all the Malibu locals took their turn paying props to ZD, once they saw him talking to others and saw he wasn't that big, bad guy he was portraying on his show. (Just like their might be a nervous energy if you walked up to Robert Dinero when he was looking through produce at the grocery store, you might be scared to bother him. Well that's how these celebrities approached ZD, as if I wasn't trying to "will" them to come over to me like a Jedi mind trick.) But hesitantly approach they all did. Some of them leaving anonymous voice mail messages, then telling me in person, "That was me." (Hi Dean De Leo of Stone Temple Pilots! Who's the nicest, most down to earth and most talented guy of all the Malibu local superstars!)

SO I WONDER WHY PEOPLE LIKE SANDLER AND THE ARQUETTES WOULD EVEN WANT ZD TO BE DETERIORATING ON THE STREET. DAMN, you would think they would want to keep me alive just so I could crank out more stuff they were all doubled over in pain in laughter over. I'm doubled over in pain, in pain.

But it's no use...they just think they are too good for me because they're in their inside, secret multi-millionaires club. BUT THESE ARE NOT THE PEOPLE I LOOK UP TO AND ADMIRE AT ALL EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT I SUFFERED FROM THE ILLUSION THEY WOULD HELP ME IN THE WAY YOU ARE ALWAYS HEARING ABOUT.

THEY WERE SO KNOCKED OUT BY WHAT I DID, THEY LITERALLY WOULD GAZE AT ME WITH BIG GOOFY SMILES AND GLAZED OVER EYES TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW ONE MAN DOES IT.

I've said the guy from Carsey-Warner Productions (long time family connections with the most successful sitcom producers ever) LITERALLY walked away mad at me and pulled his offer to help me because he asked me who worked with me on my show. And I said, "Are you crazy? I just take my camera around and improvise." So he said, "It would take 13 writers to produce a weekly show like that." So he says, "Do you wear an ear piece and have people help you with things to say from in the truck?" Again, "Are you crazy, I just improv it. I don't plan out bits."

So he said, "O.K., if you don't want to have a serious conversation with me, forget it."

Anyway...Sandler and Arquettes are the ones who really need to be ashamed of themselves and I sure typed their names enough that they might end up seeing this.

Sandler, a no-brainer. I could live off the waste off his 3rd Assistant and I've done union stand in work with Sean Penn, and I didn't get fired and that guys as unpleasant to work with as you would imagine. The guy could make my whole life with what gets thrown in the trash after lunch.

David Arquette...he's about as much fun to talk to as Bernard Parks on anything else except the budget (not fun) and is about as exciting as Arnold Sachs when he loses his train of thought.

But COURTENEY...HOW COULD YOU. I gotta say, I really fell in LOVE with Courteney as a person. She was so warm and nice and down home to ZD at her family gathering. I felt SO at home in that Malibu "A" list environment and NEVER felt more comfortable. It was better than your long time high school friends.

BUT, of course that little issue of the segments popping up on TBS while letting ZD hang out to dry.

IT'S ALL CAUSE THEY THINK THEY ARE BETTER THAN ME. But I wasn't the one who called them saying THEY were my favorite thing ever. And to be honest, I had to cram in watching as much "Friends" as possible, cause I sure as hell never watched it before hand. (Although I admit, it's a good show, once you get used to it.)

SUMMARY: I hope when I drop dead on the streets of L.A., people like Sandler, Arquette and Trutanich don't even think twice, or notice. Would hate to inconvenience them posthumously. They sure couldn't be bothered pre-humously.

Zuma Dogg TWITTER Rants on Hollywood Actors He Knows and Local Politics

I woke up way too early today to the sound of construction workers and on a nice Labor Day Weekend, like today, not only do I wake up cranky at City Hall, I think of Malibu, on a day like today, so I remember all those Hollywood phonies who bowed-down to Zuma Dogg, said all kinds of nice things and promises, then ripped him off or just got too busy to remember anything. And thanks to Twitter, it all makes for some (hopefully) entertaining reading this Labor Day Weekend.(Hopefully, MY pain is YOUR gain!) Let the bittersweet memories begin! (Yes, "Now bittersweet memories, are all I got..."Sounds like a Springsteen lyric.)

ZUMA'S TWITTER RANTS FOR SATURDAY Sept 5, 2009 - 3am-3pm:

# Daily News Provides TREMENDOUS DIS-SERVICE To CD 2 Voter In Their (In the tank for city hall) Election Coverage http://ow.ly/15NTkF

# I guess the CD2 City Council 3 minute Candidate Statements hit TV 35 today, cause I just got my first phone call from a new ZD voter.Aw yea!

# Daily News should run disclaimers letting readers know they're in the tank for City Hall. If you want to VOMIT read their election coverage.

# What a joke of a sinking ship Daily News has become. Has anyone noticed they are charging full price for what has been reduced to a flier?

# When Dr. Edward Deming sent me a letter saying, "I agree with your comments/well done," top experts thought I lied cause he DIDN'T do that!

# When I send Deming my article it was for him to correct so I didn't misrepresent his work. Sent me back an UNPRECEDENTED "well done" letter.

# Any ideas as to why "Zuma Dogg's" interpretation of Deming's 14 Points ended up being people's favorite article on this international topic?

# I was rejected a big radio job cause I used Deming's comments about me in the resume. She said, "HE WOULD NEVER SAY THAT!" BUT HE DID! OUCH

# A sitcom producer said, "You must have a staff of 13 writers coming up with this stuff." I said, "No, just off top of my head." Said I lied!

# A sitcom producer said I MUST wear an earpiece & have people in truck tell me what to say. Said, "No, just improv." He accused me of lying!

# This guy in Malibu kept giving ZD nice shout-outs. Said, "Everyone knows Zuma Dogg." One day, my friends says, "That was Reggie Miller!" Oh!

# I thought Dan Cortese would sicken me cause he looks like "Mr. Perfect Jock" but he's SO nice and down to earth, I LOVE HIM! Very creative!

# Dan Cortese is not only HUGE admirer of ZD's skillz, he is so nice. I said, "I WANT to hate you cause you're so good looking, but I can't!"

# How stoked was I when Stone Temple Pilot Guitarist Dean DeLeo asked me for ZD videos for the tour bus? He would play me unreleased stuff!

# I've met a lot of Academy, Grammy & Emmy Winners in my day, but Dean DeLeo of Stone Temple Pilots is the nicest, greatest person I have met!

# Emilio Estevez told me he was talking to Kate Hudson & CRobinson about "Zuma Dogg Show" and they were addicted. THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT ZD?

# If ONE person in Hollywood REALLY let me know a legendary, amazing, unexplainable phenomenon ZD is, it's Emilio Estevez. Marty Sheen's kid.

# One day, a girl comes up and says, "My boyfriend is your BIGGEST fan!" Can you say, "Hi" to him on the phone? It was Emilio Estevez.

# Emilio Estevez is a REALLY cool guy. Total "bro." He made Zuma Dogg feel good at the time. He really knew my material at such a deep level. Amazing producer, writer, director and actor.

# Courteney Cox told me on the phone when she called, "Zuma Dogg is (hubby) DArquette's FAVORITE THING ON THE PLANET!" Glad you lifted ideas!

# I'm sure even though Adam Sandler filled ZD with hope, he just got busy counting his money and figured it was o.k. for me to live this way.

# Adam Sandler's editor told me he heard howling through the walls in the other room. It was Sandler rolling in laughter on the floor!

# Adam Sandler's receptionist told me, "I don't know who you are, but I have never heard Adam speak so highly of anyone before."

# Thanks to people like Adam Sandler, Courteney Cox/ Hollywood phonies who call me a genius to my face, but let me boil to death on streets.

# If you see ASandler, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Jamie Kennedy/creatively vapid, idea vampires, tell them Zuma wishes they had integrity!

# I'm TORTURED by ads for Courteney Cox's new TV show. The Arquettes among ZD's TOP fans, COPIED my bits for THEIR failed TV production. OUCH!

# HOLLYWOOD: Don't be fooled by Courtney Cox's bad acting: She and hubby David were Zuma Dogg's #1 fan: Invited me to house and ripped me off!

# Someone said they sent me a Direct Message and I didn't get it. CAN SOMEONE SEND ME A Direct Message to TEST it out.

# Whenever I post a "ZD Needs Help" or a desperate message, it always gets more clicks than "city issue" post, EVEN THOUGH NO ONE HELPS! LOL!

# Two of my posts from yesterday are #1 & #2 Most Clicked on BlogNetNews.com Cali STATEWIDE Ranker. The "HELP ME!" Posts always rank highest?

# Oh no! HARSH REALITY as ZD is forced to wake up and vacate where he was sleeping WAY TOO EARLY. Was up till 3am, not supposed to be up, yet.

# Have no idea how I made it to 2am today without taking a nap given the way I woke up at 7am in the biggest funk ever. thanks to the helpers!

# There are MANY people qualified for a $120,000 yr Public Works job. But no one MORE qualified than a Councilman's daughter to play it safe.