Saturday, September 5, 2009

Zuma Dogg Candidate Statement For LA Daily News (I finally learned to speak their language and give them what they want!)

I think I know why Daily News didn't use any of my in-person interview with them from earlier this week in today's article (I call it a free advertisement) for E$$el and Krackwhorian: Instead of making up some laundry list of idealist stuff that is easy to say during a campaign, I gave REAL answers.

So if I want to be covered by Daily News, I better start sounding a lot more like Paul Krekorian and Christine Essel, because they were the only two candidates featured of the ten candidates on the ballot in the article.

So here is my new candidate statement to read from when I am speaking with Daily News:

David Saltsburg: "As City Councilmember of the Valley's CD2, I will end crime. I will ensure there is no graffiti. I will do everything you like, and nothing you don't like. I will ensure perfect constituent services, at all times, with operators standing by to take your complaint 24 hours a day, including on Christmas Eve and New Years Day.

If someone does not fix your problem within 24 hours, you can call me on my cell phone and I will come out to fill that pot hole or trim that tree, myself, after the council meetings.

And finally, I will fix the budget, create jobs, stop pollution, install solar panels on your rooftop out of my own slush fund. And I will ensure that if you are a small business owner, you will make millions and millions of dollars because I will fix the economy.

Ya know...maybe they still won't print any of this -- because City Hall didn't sign off on it for them.

Oh well. Better vote for Essel then, cause she's got the best fliers and made the best promises. (And I like the Santa Clause at Macy's better than the one at Sears!)

Follow by Email