I suffer from a diagnosed disability, that is progressive, and has become extremely progressive, lately. I don't know how to get my friends and others to understand this. I've been hanging in, and maybe I shouldn't have been hanging in, so long. Cause, again...this is INSUFFERABLE. And it ain't gonna be pretty at 4am. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I LIVE THROUGH THIS...I REALLY DON'T. IT'S PROGRESSIVE. THAT MEANS...EACH TIME IS WORSE THAN LAST TIME...AND THERE ARE NO PERIODS IN BETWEEN...IT DOESN'T END WELL, IF I DON'T HAVE SOME FRIENDS RALLY...Once I'm dead, IT'S OVER AND TOO LATE. This is a biochemical issue. It's not about my will, or personality. When the fire EXPLODES, it's a different person, because the biochemistry is different.
1AM UPDATE: Bernie Taupin is ONE depressed MUTHER-FER! A song for every ZD mood. Singing is all that gets me through. Sure isn't food. Sang a million karaoke songs from NYC to LA. Next to "fun" Bee Gees...Here's most people's fave for ZD to perform, cause it's most people's fave, to begin with. Here's the ZD VocalCAM to Rocket Man. (Cause I Think It's Gonna Be A Long, Long Night.)
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