[PICTURED: "Dear in Headlights, CalPER lead bungler, Joe Dear. Just cause you "steeple" your hands, like you're being so insightful, does not mean you aren't a HISTORICALLY TRAGIC, MORON OF A DOUCHEBAG, YOU MORON OF A DOUCHEBAG. YOU ARE THE BIGGEST EXCUSE-MAKING CRYBABY I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY 5 YEARS+ AS A GADFLY/BLOGGER!]
FIRST OF ALL...I wonder how L.A. City pension funds are doing? They're even DUMBER and SHADIER!
BREAKING NEWS via LA TIMES (8/9/11): CalPERS portfolio has lost $18 billion in value since July 1 (Imagine how much was lost this past week, during Wall Street plunge!)
After posting its best annual performance in 14 years, the California Public Employees' Retirement System is giving back a sizable portion of the 20.7% investment return it reported for the fiscal year that ended June 30. (Because that's what happens when things are propped up on a house of cards, filled with smoke and mirrors. IT'S FAKE, y'all!)
The value of the country's largest public pension fund was $220 billion at market's close on Monday, down 7.6% or about $18 billion, CalPERS said Tuesday. [That means services, programs, education funding...EVERYTHING will be down by 7.6%, or about $18, give or take some billions.]
"It's bad, but it's not 2008," said Joseph Dear, CalPERS' chief investment officer, in an interview on CNBC. "We have a crisis induced by lack of confidence in the U.S. and European political systems, combined with gloomier and gloomier economic growth forecasts." [When you say it's not as bad as 2008, did you hop into your, "Back to the Future" DeLeorian? Cause I didn't know we recovered, are not headed further south and that the stock market closed for the last time, preventing further losses, in the future. IT IS NOT OVER LACK OF CONFIDENCE! CONFIDENCE CAN RETURN ALL IT WANTS! MANUFACTURING JOBS WILL NOT BE RETURNING, and you have proven you do not know how to "create" them...only "buy" them.]
Wall Street's massive stock sell-off that began last week "is a tipping point," Dear said, "but it's not a time to panic and run with fear out of the market." [NO! Last time you lost -20%...still PLENTY more room to go. Keep the pension money pumpin' into OVERLY-RISKY, NON-INVESTMENT GRADE, CRONY LLCs on Wall Street. (See Wetherly Capital, Elliot Broidy, Dan Weinstein, Julio Ramierz, Jr., Al Villabobos., et al.)]
CalPERS was underweight in its stock portfolio at the close of the last fiscal year and now is "considering whether we can go back in" to make long-term investments, Dear said. [YEAH, THAT'S the problem...not overly-risky investments, like Grand Ave Project and all that subprime, bubble-up, real estate...it's not the economy, everything's fine...the only problem was...wasn't betting BIG enough/not rollin' enough dice! SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED GAMBLER'S ANONYMOUS! HOW COME THE INVESTMENTS YOU MADE DIDN'T RISE, BUT TANKED?]
Though Dear said he didn't expect the U.S. economy to fall into a double-dip recession, he conceded that the outlook for short-term growth was not rosy. [WHO CARES WHAT THIS MORON THINKS, AT THIS POINT? HE JUST LOST PLENTY OF BILLIONS. HE HAS LOUSY INSIGHTS, AND MAKES LOUSY DECISIONS. But I guess, THIS TIME...he's got the fundamentals down and is all of the sudden a genius.]
Those comments contrasted with Dear's enthusiasm for the 20.7% investment return that CalPERS announced on July 18, covering the 2010-11 fiscal year.
"The portfolio is quite healthy with positive benchmark-beating gains for nearly all of our asset classes over the past year," Dear said at the time. "Global equity [public stocks], private equity, fixed income, inflation-linked and cash equivalents all did well, and our real estate portfolio is back in positive territory after reversals during the financial crisis and recession." [AND YOU ARE A MORON WHO WOULD LOSE A SIMPLE "SHELL GAME" WITH A CROOK AND HIS CREW ON NY'S TIMES SQUARE. WHEN YOU READ BACK YOUR WORDS, DO YOU SEE WHAT AN EXCUSE-MAKING, MORON, YOU ARE COMING OFF AS. A REAL SUCKER! WHY WOULD YOU HUMILIATE AND EMBARRASS YOURSELF, BY REFERRING BACK TO YOUR WINNING HAND, THAT YOU WERE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO CASH IN ON. YOU LET IT RIDE, TILL YOU LOST IT ALL...AND BILLIONS MORE! I GUESS YOU ARE IN CONTROL, SOUND AND FIT FOR THE POSITION! Like a 90's year old going up to a 20 year old....I used to be hot when I was 20. SO WHAT...no one cares...look at you now! Similarly, NO ONE CARES ABOUT MR. WHOOPTY-DOO'S PAST GAINS/CURRENT STAGGERING LOSSES!]
-- Marc Lifsher in Sacramento and Zuma Dogg in Venice
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