[Pictured: Zuma's "Quantum $20," Aka: Sunday Morning Jumpstart!]Yesterday, if I was Casey Kasem, here's how I would describe it, "And now, we're up to the #2 most desperate day, in the Zuma Dogg "post-city hall trauma/bipolar era...Saturday, May 21, 2011. Even though it was a beautiful day, a block away at the beach. I'm Casey Kasem."
I haven't had a buck in my pocket, for too long, now. (Have some money on PayPal, but don't have a current debit card, so I can't access it, which makes things about three times more frustrating. And I couldn't find anyone around to help me convert it through the simple process of me PayPal'ing THEM, then they hand me the $50 back, since the PayPal goes right into your ATM.)
So I sat home, Saturday Night, and posted good memories/reflections of my past on my "Dave" facebook account. (My slogan is, "Forrest Gump has HIS stories, I have mine. And I was posting them there as a therapeutic process, on my "government name" facebook account.)
In the 11pm hour I posted this passage:
People like to read/hear about these rock n roll stories. And they ARE fun to reflect back on. That's what life is all about. Trying to create the best memories. And you do that on a one-day-at-a-time, day-in/day-out basis. But eventually, even THOSE become hollow events (the rock and roll VIP events), because you are only observing/admiring someone ELSE'S creative endeavors. For me, the fun has always been in the process of creating the art, yourself. So, the REAL memories that are MOST VALUABLE to me are the ones from the past decade that I created, day in and day out, as "Zuma Dogg." Which was the outlet/medium/person/vehicle for my creative expression. Too many people get wrapped up in sports teams, or annual events, or TV shows or things OTHER people are doing -- and it becomes their identity and they live vicariously through those mediums. Get out of the peanut gallery and start doing what you admire in others. That's all I've ever seemed to want to do or be able to do. Don't have a cent to show for it, as I type this, but still feel most blessed and spiritually uplifted and even protected by universal forces. (I think money ruins it and throws it all off...cause you REALLY have to try to live like Bill Murray in his final day of "Groundhog's Day.") That's a little Stephen M. Hawkins/Wayne Dyer/Deepak Chopra stuff for you. - Zuma Dogg 11pm
So, at 12 midnight, it's time to finally face reality and go to sleep, which I wanted to avoid doing, cause it meant I would have to wake up and endure another day, just like this one, from scratch. (And mornings are always a bitch...and so are the afternoons and evenings, these days.)
So even though I'm so tired, I had to go outside and at least take a walk across the street, or something. But I got the urge to go a little further, down the street, all the way to the ocean.
I put on my headphones and sang at full volume, cause no one is around to hear, so that's a fun treat to be able to do. (And the Coastal Commission SAYS I'm ALLOWED to do that at 12 midnight, even though the L.A. City Attorney says I can't.)
So, I sing a little Steve (Perry), and whatnot...THEN, instead of walking back, the most direct way back, again, get another urge, to go around the back way, even a little more of a walk. (Was REALLY trying to prolong having to wake up, on Sunday morning, with $0.00, again. Because it gets increasingly more difficult to jump start the day, physically, and I don't have a car to get around.) So as I was worried about that, I saw something green in the distance. No need to run. Not a person within blocks. It was an Andrew Jackson $20! (A brand new one, with those new colors, even.) I picked it up.
THE RESULT OF ALL MY WAYNE DYER, DEEPAK CHOPRA, MARIANNE WILLIAMSON, ETC. SEMINARS TO THE RESCUE!!! After all, I was getting a lot of urges to turn left, instead of right. Or right, instead of left. And even the urge to take a midnight walk to the beach, when I was so tired. Anyway, they say it's not good to eat late at night close to bed time. F*CK THAT!
I haven't had a buck in my pocket, for too long, now. (Have some money on PayPal, but don't have a current debit card, so I can't access it, which makes things about three times more frustrating. And I couldn't find anyone around to help me convert it through the simple process of me PayPal'ing THEM, then they hand me the $50 back, since the PayPal goes right into your ATM.)
So I sat home, Saturday Night, and posted good memories/reflections of my past on my "Dave" facebook account. (My slogan is, "Forrest Gump has HIS stories, I have mine. And I was posting them there as a therapeutic process, on my "government name" facebook account.)
In the 11pm hour I posted this passage:
People like to read/hear about these rock n roll stories. And they ARE fun to reflect back on. That's what life is all about. Trying to create the best memories. And you do that on a one-day-at-a-time, day-in/day-out basis. But eventually, even THOSE become hollow events (the rock and roll VIP events), because you are only observing/admiring someone ELSE'S creative endeavors. For me, the fun has always been in the process of creating the art, yourself. So, the REAL memories that are MOST VALUABLE to me are the ones from the past decade that I created, day in and day out, as "Zuma Dogg." Which was the outlet/medium/person/vehic
So, at 12 midnight, it's time to finally face reality and go to sleep, which I wanted to avoid doing, cause it meant I would have to wake up and endure another day, just like this one, from scratch. (And mornings are always a bitch...and so are the afternoons and evenings, these days.)
So even though I'm so tired, I had to go outside and at least take a walk across the street, or something. But I got the urge to go a little further, down the street, all the way to the ocean.
I put on my headphones and sang at full volume, cause no one is around to hear, so that's a fun treat to be able to do. (And the Coastal Commission SAYS I'm ALLOWED to do that at 12 midnight, even though the L.A. City Attorney says I can't.)
So, I sing a little Steve (Perry), and whatnot...THEN, instead of walking back, the most direct way back, again, get another urge, to go around the back way, even a little more of a walk. (Was REALLY trying to prolong having to wake up, on Sunday morning, with $0.00, again. Because it gets increasingly more difficult to jump start the day, physically, and I don't have a car to get around.) So as I was worried about that, I saw something green in the distance. No need to run. Not a person within blocks. It was an Andrew Jackson $20! (A brand new one, with those new colors, even.) I picked it up.
THE RESULT OF ALL MY WAYNE DYER, DEEPAK CHOPRA, MARIANNE WILLIAMSON, ETC. SEMINARS TO THE RESCUE!!! After all, I was getting a lot of urges to turn left, instead of right. Or right, instead of left. And even the urge to take a midnight walk to the beach, when I was so tired. Anyway, they say it's not good to eat late at night close to bed time. F*CK THAT!
MORE ON ZUMA DOGG:
Do you think you are ever going to find anyone who can generate buzz like this? It was all out of an empty pocket, mostly while homeless.
* "I've seen the future of television comedy. Zuma Dogg is the only American comedian today wearing the comedy-genius mantle once borne by Lenny Bruce, Allen Funt and Andy Kaufman." - Michael Heaton/Syndicated Pop-Culture Columnist
* "Brain-seizing artistry. A local underground superstar. -D. Harvey/LA Weekly
* "A public access icon." - M. Fleischer/LA Weekly
* "Local Legend" - Doug McIntyre/KABC, Red-Eye Radio
* "You're actually one of my favorite people to watch on TV." - Former L.A. Mayor Richard Riordan to Zuma Dogg on KABC radio.
* "Zuma Dogg fought the oppressive, tightly controlled L.A. City Council meetings presided over by Council President Eric Garcetti, who had banned video cameras. After police tried to stop Zuma Dogg from taping the council deliberations, he railed against the big shots for months, slamming Garcetti as “Garshady” on his show and on his whistleblower blog. “Whatever happened to free speech in this country?,” Zuma Dogg asked. He prevailed against Garcetti’s rules, and now brings his cameracorder to every council meeting, as can any member of the public thanks to him." - LA Weekly.
* " Zuma Dogg has distinguished himself as a "mix of curiosity and crusader" fighting for what he considers his free-speech rights."He's been able to do it with humor and at times be more direct and substantive." Los Angeles City Council President Eric Garcetti/Los Angeles Times
* "An original ... another treasure of Venice." - Los Angeles City Councilman Bill Rosendahl/Los Angeles Times
* " A civic treasure." - Michael Higby/Mayor Sam's Blog (L.A. politics)
* "I've seen your show on TV. Keep doing what you're doing." - Dennis Franz
* "A very funny comedian." - Howard Stern
* "Everyone watches Zuma Dogg!" - Reggie Miller/NBA All Star
* "We watch your videos on our tour bus. We need more." - Dean DeLeo (STP)
* "I am such a fan of your show." - Courteney Cox-Arquette
* "Love your show buddy. I watch it all the time." - Adam Sandler
* "Zuma Dogg, not only one of the most recognizable figures at City Hall, cordially greeted by passersby, including security guards and Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, he also has the ear of high-level insiders, who feed him information in the hope that he’ll expose, and possibly stop, one questionable government project or another." - LA Weekly (Click here for article.)
* ""He wakes us up; it gets everyone's attention." L.A. City Controller Wendy Greuel/Los Angeles Times
(GOOD! I THINK IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH FOR MOST PEOPLE, IF MY ONLY DISTINCTION WAS WAKING THEM UP!)
* "Something between stunned and amazed. "I've never seen anything like it." - Former California Assembly Speaker, Councilman Herb Wesson/Los Angeles Times
THANKS TO THE NEARLY 10,000 PEOPLE who voted for "Zuma Dogg" in the last Los Angeles Mayoral election. (Not a bad number to pull, considering the historically low voter turnout, and the fact that ZD didn't spend a penny on his campaign, and didn't have the luxury of one flier." The mayor spent $3 million, just for comparison.)
* "Zuma Dogg, who is smarter than and knows more about city government than most Council members, has become something of an urban folk hero, skewering City Hall foibles and failures in his frequent public comment appearances broadcast on Channel 35. His campaigns for mayor and now CD2 attracted respectable numbers of votes for a candidate who was not only is penniless but homeless." - Ron Kaye/RonKayeLA.com (IMAGINE IF I HAD PENNIES TO WORK WITH!)
* "It would be nice to see someone with the heroism of Zuma Dogg in office." - Kevin James/870-KRLA Radio
* "I too, as you may know, am a Deming fan. I think your synthesis of his work is fabulous." - Anthony Robbins (Tony was kind enough to bow down to me on his stage in front of thousands of people, during a seminar that was being simulcast across the country. I am told that was the first and only time he did that. Awe shucks!)
* "Very Well Done." - Dr. W. Edwards Deming on "Interpreting Deming's 14 Points," by Zuma Dogg. (Published internationally in "Quality Digest." I was told the letter from Deming had to be a fake, cause all he ever did was scribble red ink on everything. Let alone send a response like that. I had to fax the letter to some folks for verification. LOL! Too good to be true. I was in my 20's and was told, they were expecting someone in their 60's or 70's, because it usually takes that long to be able to write something at that level. Awe Shucks!)
* "I especially liked your of explanation Deming's more controversial points." - Don Dewar/Publisher, Quality Digest
* "You not only took our ideas, but expanded them in ways I thought were very interesting." - Al Ries ("Marketing Warfare," "22 Immutable Laws of Marketing," "Focus.")
* "In the history of our company, we've never seen results like these. They were off the charts. We had to go back and re-enter the data to make sure it was correct." - Broadcast Architecture (The world's PREMIER radio and record industry market research company, serving the U.S., Japan and abroad; on $100,000 NYC radio research project ZD headed/created. Station went from #11 to #2! $MILILLIONS$ for station!)
Guess networks and cable channels couldn't come up with anything as good as "Zuma Dogg" for all their mulit-million dollar budgets and writers and producers and directors and technical crew and marketing departments. BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE WERE WATCHING "ZUMA DOGG" INSTEAD OF YOU...AND I HAD TO DO IT BY CATCHING THEIR ATTENTION IN A CHANNEL SURF, WITH THE (BY FAR) LOWEST PRODUCTION VALUE OF ANY SHOW IN TELEVISION HISTORY. I WIN, LOSER!:
UNSOLICITED EMAIL COMMENTS FROM REAL PEOPLE WHO CAUGHT "ZUMA DOGG" DURING AN L.A. CABLE TV CHANNEL SURF:
I was not at all prepared for the brilliance of your show.
In all honesty I was absolutely blown away. It was the most fresh, funniest, innovative thing that I've seen on television in the past five years
You're a genius! When can we catch more shows? Do you have any of your old shows available?
honestly, you may have been the funniest person i've ever see. I was laughing so hard I woke up my girlfriend.
If i owned a big TV company your show would be on 24/7!! I have never laughed so hard for so long, it's awesome. Can't wait for the next one, me and my friends will be talkin about it for a week! lol...
How can I get a copy of tonight's episode? It was the funniest thing I've seen in years. Thank you.
I hope you know you have the best show in the history of the planet!
I was wondering if I could maybe get your Autograph...It would mean alot...I know a ton of kids at my skool that love your show too....They are always talking in your voice and going crazy..
you have the best show ever, you are the best white rapper in the world!!!
It was so beautiful that I had tears in my eyes. Let's just say I was moved.
I think your show displays a VERY intelligent and socially conscience realistic view of the world and you do it in a very original and very artistic way.
NOBODY HAS DONE WHAT YOU ARE DOING. Keep it up.
i love your show. it is the most excellent thing in all of televisionland.
My name is Lauren and let me begin by saying you are one of the finest displays of unconventional genius I've seen in a long time.
We just wanted to write to let you know how spectacular we thought your show was.
i was just wondering, if there's anyway i can buy your shows on video or something.
my boyfriend and i just stumbled upon you singing saturday night fever tunes - and we can't stop laughing - thanks...
I caught your last episode. Let me tell you that it was a Classic. The part about Elton John had me laughing all night.
Do you sell your music or dvds of your show? If not, you should. Your latest song is good as hell.
saw your show the other night and let me say,it was some of the funniest shit i've seen on tv in a long time,keep up the good work.
My girlfriend and i caught your show for the first time 3 weeks ago. I recorded it and show it around to friends. It is so g-damn funny. I keep waiting to see you somewhere.
Just to let you know, I dig what you do, you are a funny and talented person. It took me a couple shows to get it but now I got it so keep it up, look forward to the new shows.
I CAN MATCH EVERY ONE OF THESE QUOTES WITH 100 MORE, JUST LIKE IT...but, you will STILL try to come up with a reason why it would NEVER WORK!
"No one would ever watch this. It's not a show. It's not even comedy." - Comedy Central. Meanwhile, I just keep on, keepin' on...growing more legendary and iconic by the day. Like Irene Cara says, "What A Feeling!"
STORY: Local public access TV personality, Zuma Dogg was told by City Hall he couldn't set up his amp or sell Zuma Dogg shirts, CDs & DVDs at Venice Beach boardwalk, anymore. ZD protested this 1st Amendment violation of the U.S. Constitution inside the chambers of L.A. City Hall, as televised LIVE throughout the city, and created more political backlash against them than any single voice in history -- and woke up the whole city to the fraud, waste and abuse that pushed the city to the edge of bankruptcy. On October 2010, a Federal Judge agreed with Zuma Dogg, who sued the city over this matter, and issued an injunction against the city as they prepare to pay Zuma Dogg for damages.
It's either an Academy Award worthy movie in the right hands or the biggest cable network talk show in television history. (Not second biggest, and biggest by a lot.)
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